Jodl's Beach

3 Things Why I'm Thankful of the Internet

2011-11-20T17:19:00.001+08:00

Internet is indeed a world-flattener.

For ordinary folks like me, the net has made previously hard-to-find information within a few clicks on the keyboard.

I recall way back in college how I got resigned to the idea that the quotes and clips I've been dying to find won't ever be retrieved.

Well fortunately I live in a time when information became impressively available to everyone.

As a tribute to the good ol' net here are 3 items I finally unearthed.

1. The rap portion of Superproxy

As a big fan of the Eheads I always croak their songs whenever an opportunity comes. I always get stumped when I get to the rap portion of Superproxy. It was tough to follow the barrage of words.
Well thanks to google that info is now available..

http://lyrics.rebelpixel.com/2006/02/superproxy/

Zipadee do dah Zippa dee day.. Hip Hop Hooray !

2. The passionate speech by Col. Nathan Jessep in A Few Good Men

A movie that talks about honor. I was blown away by the empathic speech of Col. Jessep played by Jack Nicholson in the court room. Definitely unforgettable

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104257/quotes

"Son, we live in a world that has walls and those walls have to be guarded by men..."

3. That heart-breaking scene in "When Time Ran Out"

This clip from a movie I first saw when I was 5 years old had such a huge impact on me. The scene where the blond girl fell to her fiery death in the flowing lava haunted me in my dreams and probably caused my fascination for mestizas. It seemed that ever since, I always had this yearning to save mestizas.

Thanks to Youtube I had the chance once again to face the monster of my childhood.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9X1hxQmn6c

Decisions

2011-11-05T23:35:00.002+08:00

Today my room is a total mess.

Boxes, books and what-nots are scattered all over.

The sudden intruders were stuff moved out of Newton StudyCenter-Sucat.

Newton had been my first business venture. It’s main services were review programs forstudents aspiring to go to premiere schools.

I opened up a franchise in Sucat in summer of 2008. It hadbeen 4 grueling years of keeping the business afloat. Grueling in the sense that some of my weekendswere booked because I had to work for my venture.

If only a consolation, I found a way to channel my passionto teach, by being an instructor in some of the review classes.

Last month, with much pain in my heart I pulled the plug.

I guess my dad’s medical emergency which happened 2 weeksafter I opened the business, was a portent of things to come.

With my finances bleeding out to pay for the hospital bills,I barely had enough operating capital to keep the business afloat.

It was out of pride that I trudged on to have the operationsrunning. I was hoping that things would eventually turn around. In due time,the required volume would come to cover the fixed cost.

But salvation never came. And the losses I incurred gotbigger and bigger.

I guess my head knew back then that it had been a futilebattle.

I gave my heart the chance.

But I realize that sometimes no matter how painful, decisionshave to be made by the mind rather than the heart.

The Wedding Hater

2010-12-09T17:13:00.001+08:00

I hate weddings.

Maybe because it is a grim reminder for me of the inevitability of growing old.
I am in a stage of my life where I should have already settled in.

I hate hearing crap from the older folks asking .. “so when would be your turn?”. It seemed a foregone conclusion that it’s my turn next or that inevitably I’d end up there.

I hate coming up with lame excuses.
How can you argue with the cycle of life ?... It’s just how things go… You go to high school. You graduate with flying colors. You transfer to Manila to get a degree. You graduate from college. You find a job that assures you of a good future. You find a wife and then you settle down.

That progression is the typical expectation for a great majority of my generation. And more so probably for a great majority of my friends ( probinsyanos, intelligent, middle-income families) .

Fortunately a great niche of my friends are surprisingly atypical. But then even the atypical ones settle down one by one

I detest weddings maybe because I am averse to commitments

Wedding marks a quantum leap in the flow of life. It’s hello to marriage. It’s goodbye to singleness, to freedom, to independence.

I love adventure. For as long as I can remember I have had this lust of going to far flung places I have never dreamed of. This ache, this yearning to commune with the unknown, this insatiable lust for travel has defined me as a person. I have always equated this with the sense of being free.

I love the feeling of going wherever my heart leads me to, of throwing caution to the wind, without worrying about tomorrow, without thinking of anything or anyone.

There is something about marriage that is stifling, constricting. It’s like being tied up to another soul. Decisions that used to be so easy, would now have to be made together. That would definitely be inertia to all life’s adventures.

No.. I love my freedom so much to embrace the married life.

Or maybe I abhor weddings because I have turned cynical.

Oh yes.. Once in my life, I had that epiphany. I met the girl whom I thought would be the mother of my kids. I’ve had a great vision of me spending the rest of my life with her. The images seemed so real and palpable, even as I recall them now. She, reclining on the wooden armchair, watching the sea and the sunset, her long hair billowing in the wind ; Our kids flying their kites on the shores of my childhood.

She had been the singular turning point of my life, my anchor, my compass. She had defined my future.

For that magical moment it would seem that my destiny was forged.
And yet as some love stories go it was never a happy ending. She was THE ONE that never became the one.

My faith and optimism were shaken. I have turned jaded and cynical.

But yesterday something changed. I attended the wedding of a good friend. It was by far the best wedding I have attended. The celebration was not lavish. The number of guests was not astounding. The decoration was not opulent.

It was a ceremony stunning in its simplicity yet intimate. You could feel the sincerity of two souls making a commitment of becoming one. This is what a marriage ceremony is supposed to be.

I admit I almost got teary-eyed when she read her piece during the ceremony. She has been a great friend and I have been a silent witness to her tumultuous relationships in the past. I have seen her cry many times through her heartaches. I have seen her turn jaded and given up almost completely on love.

To see her finally getting her wishes come true was so much overwhelming. So much that my heart would seem to burst.

I am guy who loves happy endings. To see one of my best friends get her well-deserved happy ending was moving enough for me.

I guess deep inside me, no matter how much I deny it , there is still that part that believes in the magic of marriage.

Reminiscing Europe

2010-11-01T19:51:00.001+08:00

Next week I will be celebrating my 5th month with my new company. The world of EHS as I came to know has now faded in the background. And I have somehow gotten used to seeing my former colleagues leave my old company. It’s a fact of life: people come and go.

One thing I truly miss about my previous job is the opportunity to travel. I thank GE because it has given me the chance to be in London 3 years back, my first European visit. Looking at the photo right now of the one taken in River Thames, I can’t help but feel nostalgic.

I miss the excitement of being in a new place. Of seeing a new environment for the first time. There is the wonderment of a child for a whole new experience.

It’s this very reason that I am gearing up for my European backpack adventure next year..

My Life According to Eraserheads

2010-10-21T03:45:00.002+08:00

My facebook notes page has a farraginous assortment of wacky Q&As, moving essays and whatnot. Here's my favorite of the bunch. the limiting latitude challenges the responder to be more creative. Enjoy..

Time to let those creative juices flowing.

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, answer these questions. Pass it on to 20 people including me. Try not to repeat a song title. Repost as ‘My Life According to (Artist)’ “

Are you male or female? Pare Ko

Describe yourself: Kaliwete

How do you feel: Futuristic

Describe where you currently live: Alapaap

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Trip to Jerusalem

Your favorite form of transportation: Para Sa Masa

Your best friends are: Maalalahanin

Your favorite color is: Butterscotch

What's the weather like: Ha ha ha

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Overdrive

What is life to you: Ligaya

Your current relationship: Waiting for the Bus

Breaking up: Huwag Mo Nang Itanong

Looking for: Milk and Money

Wouldn’t mind: Sembreak

Your fear: Poorman's Grave

What is the best advice you have to give: Easy Ka Lang

If you could change your name, you would change it to: Yoko

Thought for the Day: Fill Her

How would you like to die: With A Smile

Bigger picture

2010-10-10T19:56:00.001+08:00

There are those scenes that simply enrapture you and make you long that you were part of it. And even for a moment, however flitting, you feel a sense of surrender, of connection, of relaxation. I unearthed this photo while browsing through my files in the hard drive. It was taken in January 2008 when I made a side trip to Yosemite Park, after our annual conference in my previous company.

Four months have passed since I transferred to my new job. Time as always just seemed to whizz by. The chasm that splits my present with the immediate past has now become unleapable. I miss the side trips and mini-adventures that my previous job had to offer but I guess they are all now a thing of the past.

The various aspects that I shudder upon during my first few days in the new company have now woven intricately into the fabric of my daily life. I guess all those life-changing decisions I’ve made in the past made me more resilient.

My current job can be taxing in a lot of ways and there is always that danger of getting too self-absorbed that one misses out the bigger picture.

This photo turned out to be an eye-opener of sorts. I realized I needed that occasional dose of getting unleashed from the daily trappings of life and being thrown out there.

And so I made a pact with myself, that before the year ends, I would definitely have a “step-back-and-look-at-the-great-picture” adventure.

Video of our Bantay Pawikan Activity 2008

2010-06-03T06:49:00.004+08:00

Sigh... one of my fondest memories in GE ... A volunteers activity where we released endangered marine turtles..

Goodbye GE

2010-06-03T04:35:00.004+08:00

It has terribly been a long while since I posted something here on my blog.

Anyway I am about to cap off a 4 and a half year journey with GE. I look back with much fondness at all the memories I've had. But it's time to move on...

Have a hard a time explaining to my friends but if there would be 3 takeways from this change it would be these...

1. Some goodbyes are tougher than others
2. You can take a person out of GE but never GE out of the person
3. Sometimes you have to make a decision not just for yourself

I will expound more on these when I have the time..

A glimpse

2010-03-04T10:48:00.000+08:00

I am a bit contemplative right now. Or maybe just nostalgic. I miss Kalsangi. The place that had been my refuge when I ran away from Manila. For two years I have stayed there. It had been my sanctum in the raging storms of life.

I came there with a lot of questions. Not all questions have been answered though. But I guess in life we don’t force to seek out the answers that remain elusive. We must learn to live with the questions and be glad for the ones that have been answered.

I miss the lad that I was when I first came there. Bright-eyed and bushy tailed, it seemed I had a game plan of how I would craft the future.

But honestly now I am not so sure.

Have I deviated from plans that I’ve held close to my heart when I left the place?

I would like to believe I found closure when I went there. I would like to believe that time had healed the wounds. I would like to believe that I have embraced the pain of the past.

And yet there is something about that place that makes me yearn to go back and rediscover the journey that I took.

I miss the person that I was ten years ago.

Tawi Tawi Solar Eclipse Rewind

2009-07-14T07:54:00.003+08:00

Tawi Tawi Solar Eclipse Rewind

Amidst the hectic preparation for the upcoming Shanghai Solar Eclipse expedition this July, I can’t help but recall the wondrous and bittersweet events that happened many many years back.

The year was 1995. We’ve set up an expedition team to the southernmost region of the Philippines to witness, a Total Solar Eclipse, a phenomenon, which it seems even now rare and to-die-for..

It had all the elements of a seemingly insurmountable task – a rare event that couldn’t be postponed, a remote location purported to be terrorist-infested, a four-year old organization with meager funds.

We had the guts to venture to a place where no other Phil. University-based astronomical organization ever set foot before.
We had the technical expertise of our founding members (Bamm, Winston, Denncapps and Monchie come to mind) to make the expedition laudable.
But the one thing that we lacked was funding.

As the head of the organization at that time, the greatest share of burden was with me.
We had to ensure that the team had a fighting chance of going to Tawi Tawi.
There was no room for delays.
There was no room for errors.

We might have been experts in identifying the heavenly bodies in the sky, but soliciting money from sponsors, we sucked. Big time.

I recall going from one company to another in my office attire to solicit for funds. At that time I would say I was looking my best. On hindsight though, I might have looked hideous in my oversized yellow polos, slovenly tucked on poorly pressed khakis, not to mention, an obtrusive umbrella and worn-out backpack in tow.

I braved the sweltering heat of the sun (MRT and FX were non-existent yet at that time, so imagine the perspiration I might be having) knocking on the doors of would-be sponsors. Botak, Aboitiz, and Fujifilm. (if we can’t solicit money maybe can save through tshirts, films and transportation)

Looking back I realize how naïve I was of the corporate world. I tried looking for their marketing directors without even setting up an appointment.

Fortunately their secretaries have been very much cordial, meeting me at the lobby informing me that their bosses are outside the office (a story they probably made up) and that they would call back. We never heard back from them.

I recall our team going to ABSCBN to audition for the game show “Ready Get Set Go”. (TV auditions were popular for orgs during those times- some could get a whopping 20,000 in one weekend). Of course we never made it, nor even had a crack at the initial selection process. I don’t blame the producers. Who would want to put a bunch of boring, bespectacled nerds on their TV show?

I even tried tapping our congressman in Batasan but failed to have a pinch of his pork barrel. (now I understand why I partly loathe the congressmen hehehe)

Fortunately some team members were resourceful enough to get us some slots in the military C130 flight to Zamboanga; a tedious process of constant calling which fortunately bore fruit. We were also fortunate to tie up with MSU-Tawi Tawi to give us accommodations.

Despite best efforts, I was only able to solicit PhP 2000, from Hans Arber, an amateur astronomer who incidentally documented the great 1955 Total Solar Eclipse in Manila. (Sir wherever you are, maraming salamat po!)

In the end, the 12 delegates who chose to go, had to raise the money for themselves Monch, Winston, Bamm, Denncapps, Sean, Aleah, Francis, Beng, Lisel,Camilo, and Joan were fortunate enough to get money from their personal circles.

As a DOST-scholar living only on stipends, the PhP 2000 I solicited was my passport to Tawi-Tawi…If not for the kind gesture of Hans I would have never made it.

Though I was immensely lucky to be part of the 12-man expedition I still somehow felt bad because there would have been other members who could have gone had we generated more funds.

I am so terrible with closures and I guess the Tawi-Tawi frustration was something I had with me all these years.

When I heard about the Shanghai Solar Eclipse, I just knew that life was giving me a second chance.

Many many years have passed since my college days. At my current status I could observe this rare event on my own and not sweat a thing.

But I wanted to extend that experience to one, two or three souls who might find the event life-changing. Souls who have the yearning to observe, but like us before, are limited by resources.

So we’re exhausting all means to help them in our own capacity by reaching out to other people in our network

I might have failed once in TawiTawi in 1995. I sure hope not to do so this time in 2009.

I guess despite all these years, there is still that clueless boy in me who once trudged on the desolate hill of Pag-asa.

I know he would be very happy.

Shanghai Solar Eclipse

2009-07-06T23:17:00.004+08:00

In many ways, being an astronomer entails a lot of risks.
We risk the indifference of others when we marvel at ordinary celestial events
We suffer ridicule when we revel at a seemingly banal night sky
We endure mockery when we find magic in the most mundane of things - a clear moonless night, a setting sun perhaps, a shooting star so fleeting and feeble

Yet the common redemption that we amateurs share, is that in a world that has gone detached from life’s simple joys, those moments of basking at the unknown and unfathomable is an experience far more profound and enlightening.

And then there are times when an enthusiast truly risks everything in pursuit of the rare.
For while we delight in the ordinary, what wonders could be expected in the extraordinary?

To say that a total solar eclipse is a rarity…. is an utter understatement.
The upcoming eclipse in Shanghai will be the longest in our lifetime.
And the chance to observe a similar event (at least for those based in the Philippines) might never pass again.

In the past we have travelled to the southernmost part of the country to chase the elusive; the odds almost insurmountable; the results heart-breaking.

The overcast ruined what otherwise would have been a spectacular view

So here we are again 14 long years after, with Nature beckoning and giving us a second chance.

We might have been scarred before but our spirits are not dampened.

Yet the bitter truth that we amateurs must face- and this is where the greatest risk lies - is that despite all our efforts and preparation, we will still be at the mercy of the Supreme during that crucial moment.

In the past I took lightly the words of a colleague that “astronomy is a humbling experience”. But only now do I truly realize what it meant.

I will be in Shanghai soon for that second chance - longing and hopeful.

The Journey...part 1

2009-03-15T16:19:00.000+08:00

Life is a journey. Indeed it has been. And it still is.

And it goes for everyone. For every human is a traveler, a nomad in search for his own answers.

And though I am no longer a big fan of life- for life has its own flaws and peculiarities- I embrace the journey that has been.

The years are slipping by. My memory starts to fade. I used to bask in the enormous power of youth, revel in its beauty. But now the inevitable has come.

And as I approach the twilight of my youth let me share my own piece, stake my own claim.

Of all the journeys I have traveled, one stood out among the rest.

One that struck a chord in my heart.

One that I chose to hold on, with such steadfastness as if my whole being resides on it.

Ten years ago, it all seemed like it was yesterday, I embraced the unknown and embarked on a journey hoping to find some answers on life’s elusive questions.

A movie once said that a woman’s heart is an ocean of secrets.

A man’s heart is no different.

Despite the calmness of its surface, the currents of emotions are raging, well hidden in the abyss.

To unearth the hidden, one must have the patience and the will to go down deep through the darkest cracks and crevices.

Beneath every smile is a story of pain. And behind every sorrow is a promise of redemption.

Writing this now, ten years after, is a journey on its own.

It a journey within.

And a journey back home.

The time has come…

I am not an Eheads fan... Really

2009-03-07T15:23:00.003+08:00

Tonight as I write this, hordes of fans from the metropolis or probably all over the country, are heading to MOA to witness a closure of a much sought-after reunion. If you are one of the fans (which I suspect you are) I am sure you know what I’m talking about… the Eraserheads.

It had nearly been a decade that die hard folks have clamored for the reunion concert which became a reality sometime in August, albeit anticlimactic with the collapse of the lead vocalist.

But tonight, fate it seemed, conspired to finally give what many thought was impossible.

That I chose to stay at home to listen to their mp3’s in my laptop instead of chanting and head-banging with a delirious crowd under a moonlit sky would probably make my close friends wonder.

After all, I am a huge Eheads fan capable of reciting the lyrics of all their songs from their early albums : Ultracelectromagnetic pop to Sticker Happy.

I can still recall the time I passed by SC and saw the promotional poster for Circus. I even offered a silent prayer that they would make it. I recall the time I discussed with Aleah and Francis the songs in Cutterpillow album or the time Denise, Ting and I went to Anonas to watch the Eheads gig (and couldn’t believe my eyes that Ely was performing less than 3 meters away from us!). I recall how my Jeoppard barkada would play their sounds on our weather-beaten cassette atop our treehouse.

I know the concert would be a trip down memory lane but my enthusiasm is tempered by my fear that the crowd would be unmanageable and unruly, not to mention the inconvenience of the traffic and the long queues. I am hoping to live vicariously once the video is eventually uploaded on Youtube.

But maybe (and it’s still something I debate with myself) I have learned to embrace early on about their break up.

It was inevitable, admittedly disheartening that it was bitter, but let’s face it .. the tunes they were belting out after Sticker Happy were horrible.

I have learned that while Eheads played the music of my life, that they have articulated the angst of my generation…( Huwag mo nang Itanong: Field trip sa may pagawaan ng lapis ay katulad ng buhay natin……Spolarium : Pwede bang itigil muna ang pag-ikot ng mundo….Alapaap: Ang daming bawal sa mundo.. sinasakal nila tayo) , there comes a point where you just have to accept the inevitable and move on.. I guess it’s part of growing up.

Haven’t the Eheads captured that thought impeccably? Kalayaan: Tayo ay nilimot ng kahapon. Di na mapipilitang buhayin ang ating pinagsamahan…

But then again..

Ngunit kung sakaling mapadaan baka ikaw ay aking tawagan… dahil minsan tayo ay naging tunay na magkaibigan

Maybe that’s the reason why these clueless folks are converging if only to have a brief glimpse of the past.

And maybe that’s also the reason why though I have convinced myself that I have moved on, I will still play their music tonight on my laptop.

Past Forward

2009-01-26T04:17:00.000+08:00

I have been swamped with a wave of nostalgia of late.

It started, I guess, when I went back to my hometown to attend the wedding of a childhood friend.

As his Best Man, I gave a speech during reception; on how our friendship went back a long way; on how things were when we were young.

I realized that what seemed like yesterday now reside in the distant and irretrievable past…

Those afternoon treks to the nearby hills, those evenings lazing in our tree house, those jamming sessions with the Eheads blaring on our weather-beaten cassette..

It was easy for me to recall those memories because they have such a huge impact on our barkada.

But browsing though my diaries last weekend, I realized there were so many stuff from the past that I have logged but could no longer recall.

Also during the Xmas break, there were 3 incidents from long time ago, that my friends have narrated that I could barely put a simulacrum that would give justice… The tutorial session in Visayas Ave. that Maritess was insisting; the drinking session in Night Brews where I got drunk and hyper as Jua and Noy were narrating; the horror room which we’ve put in the neighborhood as Jua was fondly reminiscing

It had been frustrating trying to squeeze my brain out for some memories, for some clues, for some remnant information that would validate my friends’ stories. But it had been a futile attempt. And it still is..

It was a bit unsettling because in my Pisay batch, I would be the one who would be able to recall the most significant bits ad pieces of our high school life.

I came to accept that maybe some events have been not that significant that my mind no longer holds it along with the emotions and feelings that went with it.

But then again maybe I have not worked hard enough to log the others that should have been significant.

For there are some memories that have long been kept in the deep recesses of the mind that spring back to life the moment an association is made…a haunting smell, a weird dream, a familiar face, a moving journal.

We are defined after all by the bits and pieces of the memories that we have.

Our significance, our identity, our existence rests in a way on those information. ( A Twilight Zone episode, The movies Total Recall and Dark City all come to mind)

And so I made a vow to write as much as I could of all the significant things of the past that I have not yet written.

Not for anyone else but for my older self who would someday be reading this to make a grasp of the past.

Wet Dreams May Come

2008-11-25T18:49:00.000+08:00

A few nights ago in Hanoi Vietnam, I had a rather weird dream…

Well dreams mostly are weird, it lacks logic. Yet the weirdness of this one was not in the absurdity of its content but rather on its cohesiveness in the sense that the plot went on smoothly; every scene woven intricately to make a meaningful story. It was probably the reason I had a vivid recollection the morning after.

In my dream there was an inquiry on some unexplained absences in COE . Ms Manette was explaining to the investigators, the reason .

It started with a seemingly innocuous jar that looked like kimchi manufactured in Taiwan. Turns out the product had some weird ingredient that any girl who consumes a significant serving gets impregnated. The product was simply the tip of the iceberg. It was learned that there was a whole syndicate behind its mass production. The real intention was to harvest the babies and aborted fetuses from the customers, to be sold as delicacies.

Mommy Ellen accidentally discovered upon this information through an incompetent tele-marketer selling the product.

She shared the whole story to the COE team. The syndicate wanting to safeguard the information, placed the entire team on their hit list.

In order to protect the COE team after office hours, Ms Manette relocated the COE Team to Corregidor Island temporarily.

Ezra who just came from the island over the weekend shared the story to me discreetly.

I got paranoid because with the information, I would now also be in the hit list.

And then I woke up.

Ok don’t ask me for its meaning… I have no idea.

************

I guess dreams have fascinated me.

They fascinate me still, hence I have been keeping a dream journal since college.

I haven’t been really diligent in logging down entries these past few years. Had I been; I might have finished 2 notebooks already.

There are times that I get to have a glimpse of the future through my dreams… a premonition, if you will.

I foresaw a transfer of a colleague to Singapore.

I was warned by a betrayal of a friend through a dream.

Once in Mindanao I dreamt about a colleague I haven’t gotten in touch in a while. The following day he called me that he was in town.

Two weeks before the Tawi Tawi Solar Eclipse expedition was announced I dreamt being in the southernmost part of the Philippines.

Had some dejavus as well from my dreams… the bend in the house of Vince in Bulacan, a street corner in Anonas, the rooftop of Boys Residence Hall Annex with my roommates, the mini-waterfalls in Magdalena… these are some of the things I recall.

The romanticist in me would like to believe that yes, dreams are indeed a gateway to another dimension, a glimpse of things to come, a harbinger or maybe an omen.

On the other hand the skeptic in me would say that with millions of possible combinations surely something would come true…

The rationalist in me would say that dreams are nothing but the product of the brain making sense of random electrical pulses during filing of memories, thoughts and cognitions.

It could be those hidden hopes, repressed thoughts, filtered desires that seep out of the subconscious…( I have tried being the shrink and the patient with the help of the dream journal, but self-analysis can be pretty knotty and oftentimes deluding)

The realist in me would just go with what Isacc Newton has marvelously captured in his quote…that I am just a boy fascinated with the shore while the great of ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.

Dream on Jodl…

BONDing moment

2008-11-05T18:05:00.000+08:00

Just watched the new Bond movie “ Quantum of Solace”.

Well… what could I say… whew it went beyond my expectations.

It’s the most adrenalin-pumping movie in the series yet, a pure rush right from the car chase in the opening scene.

But I won’t spoil the you with the other details.

You just have to watch it to enjoy the ride.

As I’ve mentioned in a blog 2 years back, watching a Bond movie has always been an intimate experience for me.. a communion of sorts.

http://jodl007.multiply.com/journal/item/5/Ramblings_of_a_Bond_Afficionado

This time around I had the pleasure of watching it with my youngest bro and youngest sis.

It’s probably the Bond fan in me that makes me remember the folks I was with when I watched the movie for the first time.

My dad, my unc, bro # 2 for The Spy Who Loved Me

My mom, bro #1 for For Your Eyes Only ( I remember this vividly because we had to cut classes haha)

Jazz Ramiro for GoldenEye

Ms Doctolero for The World Is Not Enough

Pazette and Darwin for Die Another Day ( the only Bond movie I watched outside the Philippines)( thanks for the poster Pazette, I still have it with me)

Person X for Casino Royale ( I was under the specific instruction not to reveal the name until maybe after 5 years for some funny but very valid reason)

Bro # 3, sis # 3 for Quantum of Solace

Guess I owe sis #1 and sis #2 a date when the next Bond movie comes out.

It’ll be a 2-year wait but I think it’ll be worth it.. Yeba !

Goodbye James...

2008-11-04T20:24:00.000+08:00

The first time I saw the Tomorrow Never Dies poster in a decrepit hall of Ever Gotesco Kalookan, I just knew it was to die for. The following week I was scouring the streets of Manila in the dizzying heat looking for a video shop that by some stroke of luck would be selling that poster.

I had one eventually. Two long months after the Bond movie was shown.

When I came down to Mindanao for my 3-year sojourn, a roll of that “Tomorrow Never Dies” poster came along with my 20-kg baggage.

And ever since, in every chapter of my journey, that poster has always been with me, taped on the cold walls of my bedroom.

From the teachers’ cottage in Kalsangi to the engineer’s quarters in Cannery housing to the cramped bed space in lungga to the 4-th floor apartment in Sucat to the 2-bedroom unit in Antipolo and finally to my bungalow in Sucat.

It had always kept me company through the crests and troughs of my life. Somehow those piercing eyes of Pierce watched faithfully how I grappled with my daily mission. Sometimes a mission gets botched. Other times I save the day. And in all those it stood a silent witness, a loyal comrade.

As fate would have it…I once again had to leave my house in Sucat ….just when I was about to call it home.

When the packing was done I was amazed at how my 20-kg baggage has grown to gigantic proportions…tons of memories I have amassed over the years…

And my 10-yr old poster was still there.. torn and tattered through years of taping and re-taping.

When the time came for me to remove it from the wall, somehow it told me it finally wanted to stay.. Peeling it again would further aggravate whatever damage it has gone through all these years.. Maybe I have held on to it more than what was needed.

I wish I could still post it on my new bedroom. I wish it could be with me on my future missions.

But somehow those probing eyes of James Bond this time was giving me a new mission . …To finally let go.

The Climb (part 4)

2008-07-28T19:57:00.000+08:00

Smacked in middle of the sparse vegetation is the base camp of Mt. Sembrano, complete with all its amenities - water source 5 minutes away, flat ground for the tent, and nearby thick bushes which would serve as nature’s comfort room.

(Warning. Mountain climbing is not for the squeamish or the weak-hearted. When push comes to shove, you would have to dig up a hole amidst the undergrowth to answer the call of nature. Pray that momma nature doesn’t give you the kind that could only be stopped by Immodium.)

We had our late lunch at the base camp – rice, luncheon meat and Lucky Me instant pansit canton cooked up by Jhoc and James.

It must be the dire need for energy source or the communion with nature or the scarcity of luxuries but out there, ordinary food tasted heavenly; trumping even those chef’s specialties in hotels. We wolfed the food in no time, though careful not to overconsume lest we receive a call from mother nature.

Feeling inutile, I volunteered to wash the utensils and the cook set afterwards. In climbing there is that tacit agreement of division of labor. You let others do the tasks in their field of expertise. Since am no expert in pitching tents or cooking rice or opening cans with a spoon, I took the most macho of all tasks – washing the dishes.

So there I was in the waterfalls of Sembrano busy scrubbing off the stubborn oils from the pans, contemplating upon my newfound competency. Jodl Gayatin EHS expert, and Six Sigma black belt, now also a certified mountain boy and dishwasher extraordinaire.

After what felt like a worthy break, we resumed our trek.

This was where my will got tested. Unlike the first part, the other half of the trail was now mostly assault - with inclines as steep as 45 degrees. In physics terms (here’s where the geeky part of me steps in), it was not only the X displacement that was tiring us. There was now the force along the Y, the eeeevil gravity that was taking the toll on our bodies. And with the heavy packs that we were lugging, every step was hell.

I was beginning to feel the tiredness and the pain. Every 5 minutes or so I would stop by to catch my breath. The memories of the sumptuous meal was fast slipping away.

I thought about my officemates and wondered how would they have handled the situation. Martin might have backed out because of his back problem. Lester might have surrendered with his dislocated shoulder. Gian… well he’s the metrosexual of the Big Brother facility, he would have opted to stay in the base camp near the water source.

(Another warning: Mountain climbing is not for the compulsively vain or the cultured metrosexual. Out there in the wild, you would have to live without the toners, the scrub, the facial cleanser and other stuff you get to see in those grooming kits. In some places where water is scarce you would have to forego bath for at least 24 hours.)

The thought of my officemates brought me a new surge of energy. I was still annoyed at them but now it was pride that got me marching on. I just had to find myself up there in the summit so I could narrate the details of my conquest come Monday and make them feel they had made the wrong decision.

Though tired I still took note of how my teammates were doing and they were consistent; Jhoc still the perky trailblazer, James still the Axe perspirant endorser and Win, still the huffing and puffing Michelin incarnate.

After about 1 or 2 hours in the woods (which seemed to last a lot longer) we hit the grassy area where the trail leveled off (yeba!!!!!).

Apparently my relief was short-lived because 10 minutes later we hit off another incline (aaarghh).

There is truth to the saying that the darkest part of the night happens before dawn. This is where the hardest part of the trail met us. The last leg. The hill before the summit. The final hurdle.

The hill was rather bare and we had to grapple on weeds to haul us up. Win was already tired and Jhoc, saviour as he was, slung on Win’s backpack. I tried to keep a good distance from Win as we maneuvered our way up and for a good reason.

The incline was so steep that any imbalance on his part could send him rolling down. I did not like the idea of a human avalanche hurtling toward me. If I were to appear in the news the day after, I would rather be found in the ravine from a fall than in the trail flattened by a human snowball.

Fortunately none of these grim scenarios happened.

And so it came, like any stories of human hardships, we finally hit the summit just in time to watch the magnificent sunset over Laguna de Bay.

This is the prize that every mountaineer seeks after long bouts of hardships. The view at the summit.

Most would dismiss it as something trivial. Perhaps foolish. For some not worth the trouble maybe.

But up there in the summit… there is that sound that only a mountaineer could hear.

I have heard it before in Matutum. I was hearing it again.

It is that sound of silence as one views the world from the top.

The sound when all the chaos of the world fades in the background and what remains is that deep silence that is moving .

The sound of the eternal.

The sound of the majestic.

And for that moment up there, the mountaineer and the mountain become one.

(fin)

The Climb part 3

2008-07-21T19:49:00.000+08:00

The rendezvous was at our old office in Pasong Tamo.

We were supposed to conquer Makiling, but somehow we ended up with Sembrano, a minor mountain in the town of Pililia, Rizal.

James invited two non-officemates to join the climb: Jhoc and Win.

Jhoc had been James’ buddy in previous climbs. The first time I met Jhoc I knew he was a true blue mountaineer. There was something in the way he tied his shoelaces or the way he rolled the flysheet that exuded deft, discipline and bravado. He’s the kind of guy you don’t want to end up in a brawl but would be happy to have in your team.

Win, Jhoc’s cousin, by contrast was at the far end of the spectrum. I knew from the moment he boarded the taxi when we picked him up at the MRT that he was a neophyte. He wore a pair of slippers and lugged a highschool backpack, he might have thought we were in for an afternoon stroll. He bore an uncanny resemblance to a stalker I had in Mindanao so unconsciously I was a bit aloof to him.

In all honesty, I was a bit relieved to have Win with us. There was something intimidating about the way James and Jhoc held their mountain bags. They somehow exuded an air of seriousness about their craft, and I only tagging along for a taste of the mountain was obviously the weakest link.

Having Win with us gave me company in the amateur division, so to speak

We took a taxi to Edsa Central where we boarded on a cramped FX van to Tanay. We bought some stuff first in the market- rice, onion, cooking oil, Generoso brandy - before taking a jeepney to the jump off site.

We registered first at the town hall (which by the way is good practice, so they would have your contact numbers in the event of an emergency).

The trail started off on a slightly inclined road and we began the climb right about noon time. The midday heat was searing but the trees along the road, mostly mangoes, provided good shade.

I was a bit surprised on the level of energy I had that day. It was probably because there was still this remnant anger (for my other officemates abandoning me).

I was channeling it to the heavy and determined strides I made.

Every time we stopped to have a photo op, I made it a point to have my hatred documented. Discreetly, of course.

I would raise my hand then curl my middle finger inward. Fill in the blanks was the caption in my mind. ( It was my subtle way of saying f**k you to my office buddies, haha)

It was my first climb with a group ( I climbed my first mountain- Mt. Matutum, alone) and having folks to chat with somehow made the climb easy. (It was on this climb that I learned the nicknames Empoy and Longgoy)

As I predicted Jhoc was leading the pack. He was skipping from rock to rock like a creature in its own habitat, gung-ho and throwing caution to the wind; his nimbleness, jaw-dropping, his sense of balance, impeccable.

James was also a force to reckon with. He might be timid in the office, but out there in the fields, he strode commanding and formidable. He was by far carrying the heaviest load in the group, yet he barely sweated out, like he’s an endorser of Axe antiperspirant or something.

Win as I predicted was a mess. He was sweating profusely and his white shirt-oops wrong choice there- has turned into a rag of sweat, grime, and dirt. He looked worse than that guy in the Tide commercial dragged across the mud.

The ascent was rather easy and before we knew it we hit the base camp. Freshly picked coconuts at 10 PhP a pop were a welcome sight. I guzzled 2 nuts worth of juice in less than a minute. I was rather disappointed that the climb had been easy…

Little did I know we were only half way through and that the harder part of the trail was still up ahead.

Happy Birthday...

2008-06-26T00:36:00.002+08:00

His appetite is mind-boggling, he could give Jughead a run for his money (or his hamburgers). He can wolf down two large servings of carbonara and still have room to spare for leche flan, chop suey and what have you. He is the human janitor fish of our office pantry, always to the rescue of damsels who could not finish their lunch. And despite the calorie intake, he does not get fat !!!

You might think he’s immature for all the stuff he’d think about is food.

His sense of humor is biting. He can deliver the funniest of punch lines straight-faced. Sometimes you’d wonder if he’s joking or serious.

His range of human expression is limited. He’s either stoic or not so stoic.

He is such a killjoy .You can never force him to sing even the ABC’s in a harmless game of truth or dare.

He is a man of few words; his responses are mostly short or monosyllabic or evasive.

His coping mechanism is maladaptive. He is so averse to goodbyes that when he left the company, he never informed anyone, not even his closest friends.

And for that we abhor him.

But despite his eccentricities and flaws, we miss this guy so much.

He has always been dependable, IT concerns or otherwise.

He has been the one person I have counted on when I was pissed or depressed or devastated or just when I felt like shouting my angst to the world– sober or otherwise.

He had been my anchor in a storm. Well sort of. Once on a stormy ride in Leyte, our boat almost got capsized. But having him by my side somehow doused my fears. I guess it will always be a poignant reminder of life’s journeys.

He has shown me the grandeur of nature and the immeasurable joys of conquering one’s self, of scaling heights, of defying the odds, of surpassing limitations.

And despite his impenetrable wall and his lack of words, he has taught me life’s great lessons through his actions- the immense power of belief in oneself, of fortitude amidst adversities, of never losing sight of one’s dreams, of being steadfast in deeply cherished values.

He has truly left a dent in me.

So let me take this opportunity to thank and greet this guy whom I owe a lot.

To Empoy… a great friend… a brother…. an idol.

Happy Happy Birthday.

The Climb (part 2)

2008-06-21T22:31:00.002+08:00

The Climb part 2

This blog was started in 2007 and for some strange reason I was not able to finish it

My memory fails me now as I attempt to recall the first climb in 2007 that triggered some changes in me as a person… imperceptible yet meaningful.

However I felt compelled to finish this blog if only to put some sense of closure.

The journey started in our old cramped office in Pasong Tamo, the so-called Big Brother house, a conference room that had been converted into improvised workstations. It was in this room that four guys coexisted: Lester, Gian, Martin and me.

Lester, the self appointed Big Brother, toyed first with idea of a hike suggesting that the activity would help us maintain a healthy lifestyle (Lester was considerably gaining some weight, and the extra pounds were taking an extra toll on him)

So we contacted Jesse James our regular IT guy whose pictures from his mountain climbing escapades were gleefully spread all over his friendster photo album. A date was set , Mt. Makiling would be the place, and James would be our guide.

However as the date approached, one by one each resident begged off. (Somehow I was not surprised. The very same thing happened to my Dole Asia colleagues when we planned the Matutum climb)

I have lived on earth long enough to notice that gimmicks thought of on the spur of the moment have a greater chance of pushing through rather than the ones meticulously planned. You can get the affirmation when the plan is laid out but somehow when the day comes people just come up with excuses.

The GBS Mezzanine folks had a catchy term for this… “drawing”.

Needless to say with the other “drawing” residents out, the thought of going to the climb no longer seemed palatable.

However they haven’t factored out my stubborn nature. I guess it was something I learned from my dad. Once my heart is set unto something there would be no letting go unless absolutely necessary.

My fellow residents in a way have abandoned me and somehow I felt betrayed. But I had to stick to my word. I guess it was something I owed to myself.

That morning of May 5, 2007 the thought of going back to sleep and letting go of the foolish plan was very tempting. I could just cuddle underneath the warmth of my blanket and text James I couldn’t make it and come up with some valid excuse.

But there was a call that I had to respond. There was a promise I had to keep. There was something unexplainable that I had to prove.

And no lame excuse, no hurt feelings, no sense of abandonment, not even a body that refused to move, could stop me from conquering my damn mountain that day.

And so I clutched my mountain pack and did the most basic of all heroic acts. Show up.

(to be continued)

To all the folks I’ve worked with before..

2008-06-08T07:12:00.002+08:00

There once was a dilapidated building, a stone throw away from the busy street of Pasong Tamo. It had stood there for 30 quiet years and stuck like a sore thumb amidst the newer structures that mushroomed through the years.

The place was a safety engineer’s nightmare. Fire exits in the wrong places, electric wires dangling from the ceiling, trip hazards from all corners.

I spent the first few months of my return to the company on this old building and God knows how I wanted to shun the place.

Last year the building finally had to be dismantled and our company sought a new home amidst the sprawling Bonifacio Global city.

My office now has a commanding view of the Taguig skyline.

The lobby is elegantly marbled, floors are carpeted, glass doors are machine-activated.

It was a dream come true.

But somehow despite the classy corporate feel, going to the office no longer feels as exciting.

And then like a jolt, I had a realization.

You know how it is in life. You go through the same routine thinking each day was the same as the last. What you don’t realize are the small unobtrusive changes that happen along the way.

Until one day you wake up and realize that things were no longer the same.

I miss my friends and co-workers. The ones who gave the human touch to my work.

I realized it was not the number of audits I’ve done, or the number of findings I’ve closed or the number the business metrics I’ve met that mattered (while they are important come evaluation time)

No, it was the human connection that made things memorable and meaningful.

Those small talks in the pantry. The asaran in the Big Brother house. The kulitans in the Same time.

They may not be work related. They may not contribute to my promotion. They may not add up to the bottom line. But these are the stuff that made the fabric of the memories of my stay with the company.

The stuff that made those stretched goals bearable.

I miss the times I had to trump Yuri’s hirits in ST.

Or the time Martin and I placed “Feel free to talk to me” as Gian’s wallpaper.

I miss making hirit to Kat, the fan club or to CheG the pres of the other fan club.

I miss eating Spanish Sardines on bread with Empoy in the pantry while watching the vacant lot beside our building.

They have long left the company and I surely miss them

And now with LesMatu, the other half of the CPSO dynamic duo, leaving, going to the office will never be the same again.

Taym Pers

2008-05-28T03:23:00.000+08:00

Ang buhay daw ng tao ay parang gulong.

Minsan nasa itaas, minsan naman nasa ibaba.

Pero para sa akin flat tire ngayon

At mukhang matatagalan bago ako makabalik sa itaas.

Sabi nila wala raw problemang ibibigay sa iyo na di mo kayang lutasin.

Hmmm, devil’s advocate lang po…

E papano yung mga lumulukso sa tenth floor ng gusali?

o kaya’y umiinom ng sandamakmak na sleeping pills para tumakas sa problema?

Di ba nila nahanap ang solusyon?

Minsan naiisip ko.. Lord di kaya na-overestimate Mo yung capacity ko?

Pero syempre wala ka namang sagot na maririnig.

Dahil pag may narinig kang boses, malamang mental hospital na ang case mo.

Oo wala kang maririnig pero umaasa ka na lang na sana ang pagdurusa mo ay may kahulugan.

Kung meron man akong natutunan ngayon, eto ay yung pagiging sensitib..

huwaw …sensitib daw o…

Oo… dati pag me natatanggap akong text message mula sa kaibigan na

malala ang condisyon ng ermats nya… o kaya’y agaw –buhay ang erpats nya …automatic lang ang reply ko… I will include you in my prayers.

Pero ngayong nararanasan ko ang mga paghihirap na ito, ngayon ko na lang sila lubos naiintindihan. Ngayon ko lang nararamdaman ang mga hinagpis na kanilang dinaanan.

Madaling magsabing “Every darkest night has a dawning day”

o kaya’y “behind every cloud is a silver lining” at kung anu-anong motivational ek ek.

Pero pag pinagdadaanan mo ang pagsubok parang ang hirap sambitin ang mga phrases na ganito. Believe me.

Para mong pinipilit ang sarili mong mag smile kahit may punyal na nakatusok sa puso mo.

Pero sige lang. Kailangan e.

Susubukan.

Kakayanin.

Kung ang buhay ay isang stage performance, ito ay walang rehearsal. Walang take 2. Walang rewind. Tuloy tuloy lang.

Madulas ka man sa sahig. Magkamali ka man ng blocking, Makalimutan mo man ang iyong linya, the show must go on.

Kung ang buhay ay isang laro, wala itong taym pers. Walang break. Walang half time. Walang time out.

Ma technical foul ka man. Ma head butt. Ma knock out. Masipa sa betlogs. Sige lang tuloy pa rin ang game.

Hindi titigil ang mundo para sa iyo. Gabundok man ang iyong pasanin, sumambulat man ang kalooban mo sa hinagpis, lumawit man dila mo sa kapaguran, hindi ito titigil para sa iyo.

Ulit… Hindi ito titigil para sa iyo.

Oo mahirap man tanggapin pero talagang ganyan ang buhay.

Unfair na kung unfair.

Magmura ka na kung magmura.

Maghain ka na ng complaint ( pero kanino ? Kahit saan, wag lang sa senate blue ribbon dahil aabutin ka ng siyam siyam).

Magfile ka man ng motion for reconsideration.

Mag strike

Mag protesta

Sumigaw sa buong bundo.

You can damn it to your heart’s content

Pero ano pa nga bang mangyayari?

Sa banding huli ikaw lang ang talo.

So tuloy lang ang laban.

Huwag ka nang magreklamo

Huwag kang tumigil.

Huwag kang sumuko.

Dahil ang sinumang susuko sya ang talo.

Oo madaling sabihin

Mahirap gawin.

Pero kailangan.

3 AM again

2008-05-12T01:41:00.000+08:00

You wake up from your deep sleep. It’s that time of the night, long past midnight yet long before dawn. And suddenly you realize that the wonderful cruise you just took was all but a dream and the dead weight of reality slams before you.

You close your eyes hoping to return to wonderland but the pressing issues start to haunt you.

You recall about a year ago when you were in Boracay with your family, and how much fun you had back then and how you had wished life would be forever like that - all pretty and neat- and wonder how could a year ago be now so distant.

You think about the hardships that you had been through and realize how they all seemed paltry to the one you are going through now.

You think of your dad who though may have his flaws is still the person you’ve looked up to, now lying in the hospital helpless and inutile, not even having the strength to cleanse himself nor to eat and how you’ve wanted to partake in his pain yet you just stare there powerless.

You think of your mom and your siblings and how you wish you could alleviate their suffering and how you try your best to be their rock while deep inside you’re almost crumbling.

You think of your best friend, how he has been there in the good times yet not in the bad, and you feel betrayed and wonder why can someone you’ve trusted be insensitive.

You think of your good friends who now work outside the country. You recall the times they have stood by you in the past and how you wish they were still around and how much you miss them and long for their company.

You recall the time you sent a friend words of encouragement regarding his father and realize how naïve you were. You now fully comprehend the anguish he had felt back then, that beneath his replies that seemed controlled and carefully worded was a cry of pain he chose to hide. And now you give him much higher regard for making it through.

You plead with God and complain about your suffering yet you feel guilty and weak. You realize you are just a mere speck and your personal problems pale in comparison with the hardships of others. And then you wonder why people have to suffer and why happiness has to be relative.

You think of your funds and how you’re bleeding financially and how you would have to let go of some of your dreams and make some detours.

You think of the future and wonder where you’ll be in a year or two and you get scared.

You grapple with answers yet know there won’t be any.

You think of the role you have to play, of the mask you have to put, of the suffering you have to endure. And the mere thought is overwhelming.

But tonight alone in your room, you shed off the façade and become human. You clutch on the cold pillow and cry.

3 AM

2008-05-11T01:22:00.000+08:00

It’s 3 in the morning and I just woke up.

Life has been hell lately and it’s only when I sleep that I get the peace I seek. But now even in my dreams, reality is rearing its ugly head.

And I wake up wondering how life can be so perfect one moment and utterly devastating the next.

I miss the times when my parents were my rock. When I could sleep under their blanket of comfort while storms were raging outside.

Yet I realize it is all but a distant past and clinging on to it won’t do any good and there is no choice but to move ahead.

And I wonder what odds were at play, for nature to reverse its laws.

I think about my dad lying in the hospital and wonder how a feisty and energetic person can now be helpless and crippled by stroke. And how a single event can turn our lives upside down

And try as I may I couldn’t comprehend why things have happened the way it did and how I would make it through this trial.

I long for the comforts of home and the company of dear old friends.

I think about the tears I have yet to cry. Of the words I have yet to utter.

And how tough it has been reassuring my loved ones that things would be fine while deep inside I am scared.

And how tormenting it is to exude a bit of stoicism while beneath the façade is a dull blade of pain that jags through the heart and hurts deep down

I am on the edge of a cliff grasping on courage, with the jaws of fear and uncertainty wide open below, and I’m using every bit of my strength to hold on.

I want to give up. I want to let go.

But I couldn’t. I shouldn’t.

And so I lie awake wondering what fate has in store for me.

Let it Snow

2008-03-16T20:22:00.003+08:00

Let it Snow

I have taken it for granted.

All the while it was just a cognitive appreciation…I thought that snow was just like the stuff that comes out of the freezer. Cold to touch, water molecules turned to solid state, devoid of its fluid properties otherwise nothing much fancy.

But having the firsthand experience to form a snow ball on my hands, teeter unto the slushy surface of sheer whiteness, feel the flakes caress my face, taste the blast of subzero flurry brought back a childlike fascination in me… it was an experience I have never expected.

It is one thing to imagine snow; it is totally different when you’re actually basking in it. No words could capture the sensation. No description could give justice to the overwhelming feeling.

It is like being a child playing his toy for the very first time.

Suddenly all my childhood fascination rushed back… all those questions that lingered back then suddenly had an answer… and what a resounding reply it was.

The memories of wondering of a boy from the tropics came flooding back… the scene in the Avalanche express, the first few pages of Cat in the Hat, a Murder scene in a Agatha Christie’s novel, the Sesame Street swap, the Ski chase of James Bond in For Your Eyes Only, the rampaging icy blocks of Mt Everest in IMAX, the meaning of White Christmas ….

So at long last this is what snow is all about…So amazing.. So chilling…So awesome

And I thank you Ne and Jeff for that unforgettable experience..

Happy Birthday... A tribute

2008-02-18T18:29:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday

(This should have been posted last Jan 31 but better late than never)

There are a few guys whom you could publicly claim you really love- like Manny Pacquiao or James Bond.

I love this guy.

He is the epitome of anti-cool. A bespectacled nerdy type who talks about boring and sometimes awkward stuff. Stuff you don’t normally tackle in a light conversation lest you be ostracized or branded as weird.

Hanging out with him may plunge your coolness factor to abysmal depths – you gotta face it… this is a superficial world where folks simply judge your coolness by the friends you hang out with

He has a fashion statement of a geek

He can be a slob and the way he tends to forget his stuff – from umbrellas to contact lens- is totally pathetic.

But despite all of these flaws I owe this guy a lot… and when I say a lot …I truly mean it.

He’s the one person who has truly influenced me about the way I see the world.

His steadfast faith is admirable. His childlike innocence about all things cynical and carnal is exceptional. His passion to make a difference is amazing.

His loyalty is unwavering. Once as head of a college organization, when almost all my staff abandoned me, he stood by my side. “ Jods, I will support you all the way.”

His words still ring in my ears, I doubt if not for his words of encouragement, I would have survived the ordeal.

I sometimes feel guilty. In my front of my other friends- the so-called cool ones- I would cajole him for his outdated beliefs. I would make fun of his principles and the things he stand for.

But my frivolity belies it all, for while I make fun of him, I silently and fervently pray that he would win.

For while the world is tough on guys like him, we are truly indebted to them.

He is a bastion of idealism, a source of my strength. In this world that has gone aberrant and compromising, it pays to know that there are still persons like him.

And am very blessed to have him as a friend.

To a very great buddy, an idol, an inspiration, a man of our times… Anton Overio…

Happy Birthday… at Maraming maraming salamat !

Year 2007

2008-01-21T20:45:00.000+08:00

Dec 31, 2007

Clutching a cold San Mig Light on one hand I watched, as the sun dipped on the horizon. And so 2007 came to a close. Well almost.

Sunsets especially the ones on the beaches of San Jose have always been a religious experience for me. There is an overwhelming calming of the senses as one marvels at the sun- slowly yet inevitably touching the ocean. It is somewhat a satisfying closure- and a stark contrast - to a whirlwind day.

For this day however, it seemed an apt closure for a year that has been.

Watching sunset on the last day of the year was a ritual I have started back in 1999. During those days, rumors of the end of the world abound, it seemed satisfying an idea to appreciate life’s everyday miracles if these were the last reminders of one’s stay on earth.

But 2000 came and the world, surprisingly, still rotated on its axis. Images of the winged creatures ablaze storming on the night sky, announcing Judgment Day never materialized. On hindsight, doomsday happening on the stroke of midnight seemed rather foolish because not all parts of the world reach midnight simultaneously. It will therefore be a series of pathetic and impotent “gotchas!” - not the cataclysmic big bang, fireballs, explosions and all, the way doomsayers have conjured it to be. No, THE END has to be more enthralling and climactic than this.

Which was rather fortunate. It meant 8 more sunsets on the last day of the year to behold. And counting.

And so there I was, Dec 31, 2007 contemplating on the year that has been, on the beaches of my childhood.

It has been a dramatic year, one that has caught me by surprise, like being snagged in a roller coaster, swirled in dizzying rounds and hurled backed to the ground before anything else made sense.

It has been a year of firsts. It was my first time to set foot on London, embrace its cranky weather and understand why Englishmen kept breaking the ice by asking ” How’s the weather there?”.

It was my first time to surf…..to teeter on the board and brave the harsh midday heat and the fury of waves if only to experience the elusive stoke.

It was my first time to visit the provinces of Biliran and Leyte. Now those would be two provinces off my list… About 30 more to go…

It has been a year of travels. New York, San Francisco, London, Singapore, Jakarta Kuala Lumpur. Expanding my role to cover SEA regions has opened a delightful world of possibilities.

It has been a year of adventure. My life has never been the same after meeting Empoy and Longgoy, two true blue mountaineers. I slid off the grassy paths of Sembrano, grappled with the menacing boulders of Batulao, clambered through the crevices of Pico de Loro, stared at the jaws of death of Tres Marias, all for the pursuit of whatever is up there on the summit.

It has been a year of excitement. Sat beside Jeff Immelt, our big big boss, in an award dinner for volunteers. Only 0.5% would ever have that chance to sit beside the most important person in the company, much less engage in a conversation for 3 hours.

It has been a year of surprises. A close friend came out of the closet. A rather funny and surreal experience; I almost choked on my food when she made the revelation. I thought I was in “Bitoy’s Yari ka video segment” but no punchline ever came. It took about fifteen minutes after the jolt, before my brain could process normally again.

It has been a year of reconnection. Had the chance to catch up with Steph and Anton, two of the people who’ve made an impact on my life. I had the chance to hear my alter ego in one drinking session. The drunk indeed speaks the longings of the sober heart. I am now back pursuing my masters in Psychology

It has been a year of farewells… We left our old site in Pasong Tamo, which has been home for some for 30 years. Some good old friends left the company presumably to search for greener pastures. Some colleagues from another site were retrenched as a painful decision to keep the business thriving. Funny how you only realize the importance of people when they’re no longer around.

It has been a year of fun and fascination, of trials and tribulations, of losses and triumphs, of beginnings and endings.

It will be another year that I would look back with much fondness and longing many years from now.

A year that I have just relived for one last time as I look at its last sunset.

The Climb

2007-05-14T17:42:00.000+08:00

The Climb…

I first saw the looming figure of Mt. Matutum on my first visit to Dole Philippines School. As the shuttle snaked through the pineapple fields, I marveled at the majestic dormant volcano. The behemoth stood there with an overwhelming presence as if with probing eyes, taunting me, breathing down on my spine, beckoning me to conquer it.

It had stood there almighty through the ages mocking at puny mortals that stood before its presence. The mountain stirred something primal in me. An inner animal was awakened and despite ages and ages of evolution, the potency of the urge was undeniable, so raw, so instinctive. Nature was calling on to me and I had to respond to the call.

And so I made a pact to myself - I had to reach the peak of Matutum before my sojourn in Mindanao was over.

It was beyond rationality that I did the climb alone. Only the experienced or the suicidal would have done that. Looking back maybe I had been a bit naïve not to have foreseen the torture that was lying ahead. Had I gotten a glimpse of the pain that I had to endure I might have had reconsidered.

It didn’t start out as like that. My fellow project engineers at Dole Asia had an agreement that we were to climb Mt. Matutum together.

But I knew human nature too well. Oh yes. Something always comes up at the last minute. One by one, my colleagues came up with excuses why they couldn’t make it – some were pretty lame actually. Even Jessve, my best bud at that time, who had had been roaring to go, had to work overtime at the last minute.

And so in the end, it was a tough choice of canceling the climb altogether or me braving the mountain alone.

But I had a pact with myself. And it was a pact that I had to keep, no matter what.

As fate would have it, I conquered Mt. Matutum – my first mountain- on a Good Friday. It also fell on a Friday the 13th. Superstitiously, the attempt was unthinkable. God was dead at that time (from the words of the elders), not to mention the unlucky Friday the13th.

But luck had nothing to do with it.

It was by sheer force of will that I made it through. True, there were times along the path that I was almost tempted to give up. It was a long, arduous 9 hour-hike, that seemed like an eternity. Legs buckling from the weight of my pack, lungs screaming for air, body begging for water; the climb was all about pain.

But when I reached the summit an incredible sense of euphoria wrapped my whole being. No words could aptly describe the happiness, that I felt. All the sufferings that I went through were worth it. It was as if my heart would burst for joy. I felt one with Nature and for that brief moment, time stood still and I was on top of the world.

It has been six years since I conquered Mt. Matutum yet I could still feel the sense of achievement as if it only happened yesterday.

Which was why when Jesse James invited me to climb Mt. Sembrano…I knew that Nature was calling on me once again.

The call was blaring, so compelling and relentless. I just knew I had to respond to the call…(to be continued)

Tour of Panay Part Six

2007-02-17T22:23:00.000+08:00

It was a blessing in disguise that my butt was getting numb. At least it was distracting my mind that something horrible was going on in my alimentary canal. The distraction has done the trick because miraculously we were able to reach Kalibo without me dislodging a gruesome concoction of biological warfare.

Despite the stomach upset I still managed to appreciate the plaza of Kalibo. It had a huge resemblance to Baliwag, Bulacan - the way the church, the town hall, and the Jollibee store are intimately huddled around the plaza. We went to Jollibee thinking it had the prime seat in town, but a quick trip to the washroom revealed a rather jaw-dropping display of humungous IFO’s - “Identified Floating Objects” in its lone toilet. Good thing my intestines still had some class- they refused to budge, obviously horrified at the dismal sight.

Notwithstanding what I just saw, I was still able to eat. I only ate light. I did not want to exacerbate my digestive organs. I totally lost my appetite when I noticed the striking similarity of the hues of Jolly Cheezy Fries and the IFOs. Bon Appettit !

Libong suggested that we proceed to the bishop’s house which was also in front of the plaza. Bishop Romy Lazo, the current bishop of Aklan used to be our parish priest in San Jose. He was a ninong on Libong’s wedding and our kuya’s playmate in tennis. Unfortunately Bishop Romy was in another town that day and there seemed to be no one inside the bishop house.

My bro prodded me to try the toilet at the gasoline station instead. From previous experience I knew that gasoline toilets would be far much worse. I assured him I could still manage it and then gulped down another tablet of Immodium.

He advised me to buy adult diapers just in case my “baggage” becomes unbearable along the way. I thought he was joking. He was dead serious. He warned me that the rest of the way would be mostly boondocks.

I assured him that in case things start to get out of control I would put to test my interpersonal relationship skills. This would mean randomly selecting a decent household and warning them that all hell will break loose if they don’t allow me to use their CR.

At times like these I get to fully comprehend Khalid’s eternal dilemma. Khalid used to be my housemate in Krus na Ligas. He arguably has the appetite of a velociraptor but his stomach is belligerent. In almost all the gimmicks of the KnL gang, Khalid would always have an intimate session in the washroom after every meal. It came to a point that folks called him Mr. Tae – Ang taong kumakain para tumae, at tumatae para kumain. ( Hi Khalid!!! Hehehe)

As Dennis would jokingly say, Khalid’s life cycle is about eating and defecating.

But my life cycle is about adventure. I have a tour to finish. And no uncooperative what-the-f*%k-is-wrong-with-you-why-are-you-doing-this-to-me-now stomach is going to stop me from finishing it.

Tour of Panay Part Cinq

2007-02-03T12:32:00.000+08:00

Boracay didn’t disappoint me. I just stood in awe at the white sand that seemed to stretch endlessly. It was truly a spectacle to behold and the next thing I knew I was lying down on the sand feeling being one with nature.

But the island was so touristy. Lots of people were walking by and somehow it spoiled my commune with nature. I’m a people person but there are times when I wish I were just alone to contemplate in silence. The beach and the flock of people somehow just didn’t jibe together.

I had a good time contemplating. At those precious moments of silence I feel that the past and the future melt away and the only thing that mattered was being.

My still-elusive dream of building a house beside the sea came back to haunt me. I felt sad that for the past few years I have deviated from my long-term goal. Maybe I got so myopic and became part of the rat race in the metropolis. Sigh..

I never really had the chance to enjoy the night on the island as my tummy ached. Good thing my bro brought loperamide tablets. I would have wanted to check out the best shakes that Aimee recommended or pass by Cocomanga’s with famed row of drinks good to make the next 3 days of your life hell as my sensei claimed. Instead I spent the night lying on the bed with frequent trips to the CR.

We left the island around 9 am. I felt that one night in Boracay was too short (and too lousy considering the stomach upset) but in my mind I knew I would surely get back again.

As the boat was leaving the Boracay port I received a call from Lester. We discussed mostly work but I took time to gush in the highlights of the tour so far. It felt surreal hearing his voice on the other end. Manila which has somehow faded in the deep recesses of my mind suddenly jutted unto my consciousness. I once again had to grapple with the coexistence of two contrasting worlds.

We went on our way. Dark swirls of clouds gathered from the distance and the seas were rough, we barely had time to pause and take good shots. We had to stop twice because of the downpour.

One of my biggest regret was not being able to get a picture of a creepy house somewhere between Tangalan and Makato. The house loomed ominously amidst gnarly acacia trees. Defiant, it had withstood the wrath of time. Even from a distance I felt a chilly presence that lurked behind its grey walls.

If I were a horror movie writer I would explore the plot of motorcycle riders forced to set camp in an abandoned town without electricity. Unbeknownst to them the place is aswang-infested. And the action would happen at nighttime. There will be chase scenes ala-Blair witch project on a motorcycle. One by one the travelers would meet their doom as they fight to stay alive until daylight. Of course the protagonists would have to make it. That would be me and my bro. And the shooting location would be the house I just saw.

However at that time, a different horror story was unfolding. It involved my stomach and two tablets of Immodium I took that morning. The rumbling I heard inside indicated that the tablets might not have been effective at all. We had to reach Kalibo fast. Or else….

Tour of panay

2007-01-23T18:30:00.000+08:00

The year was 1995. My college bud Anton and I were planning for one great adventure. It would have been Tawi Tawi but he missed the Solar Eclipse Expedition.
We knew life isn’t going to be as exciting after college. Job. Marriage. Kids. Saving the world.
So we planned for one big high before we finally take on bigger responsibilities.

In college, you have the time and the energy but you don’t have the money. So gradually we came up with a grand plan that in 10 years time once we set aside a considerable amount of money we were to take 2 weeks off from our jobs and take a tour of Panay by foot. It seemed to make sense. We were both from Panay Island, I from Antique, He from Iloilo.

Who were we to claim we have conquered the world when we haven’t claimed our own backyard?

The plan was simple. Tour Panay Island by foot. We would walk along the shores and set camp along the beach. The entire island in 2 weeks. Our last hurrah.

Simple yet brilliant. It all seemed fascinating and achievable back then…

Fast forward to 2006. After I went to Mindanao, Anton and I lived on different planets. We would occasionally meet and catch up when I pass by Manila or when I pass by Iloilo
Anton and I have long abandoned the idea. (More like, we have totally forgotten about the said plan). Looking back, it now seemed pretty foolish. Two weeks off the job? That would have been asking for the moon.
But last April when my brother Orville proposed the idea of a tour of Panay by motorcycle, the boy in me couldn’t resist the idea of one great adventure. It was like getting in touch once again with the idealist in me.
So on the morning of December 27, the 2-day tour of the island began… (to be continued)
(Tonio, lam kong mababasa mo tong blog… Di man natupad yung great plan natin noon, this I think is a worthy replacement, don’t you think? Pagbalik mo galing Tate someday, bili ka kotse and we'll tour Panay...Yeba !)

Ramblings of a Bond Afficionado

2006-10-23T06:41:00.000+08:00

I’m all revved up for the upcoming James Bond film… “Casino Royale”, the 21st in the most successful movie franchise of all time. (The film “Never Say Never Again, although a Bond film is not included because it was not part of the Broccoli series)

Watching a Bond film has always been an intimate experience for me. Hell, I could even recall which movie theatre I was in and who I was with when I first watched the film.

The first James Bond movie I watched in a movie house was “The Spy Who Loved Me”. It was in Fatima theatre (now defunct) in my old hometown in Antique. I was with my dad, my uncle and my younger brother. The scene where Jaws’ car fell on top of a hut still lingers on my mind. I was probably 4 years old at that time.

The next Bond film I saw in the same moviehouse was “ For Your Eyes Only”. I was with my Mom and my Kuya. I could still recall that day because my brother and I had to cut classes when Mom picked us up. (My Mom also a teacher at that school had to work undertime for that day)

The rest of the Bond films, Sean Connery series, George Lazenby’s On Her Majesty Secret Service, Roger Moore’s other series I got to see in Betamax and VHS. Even and Timothy Dalton’s “The Living Daylights” I only got to see on tape. (But I recall the first time I saw “The Living Daylights” on tape because my kuya pointed out that A-ha, our favorite band was playing the theme song)

The next Bond film I saw in a movie house was License to Kill which I watched alone at SM City. That evening Jiggs my high school roommate and I talked for hours about Bond stuff, girls, gadgets and goons.

And then after that, it had been a long lull before a new Bond movie came up. ( Normally a Bond movie is offered on the summer of an odd-numbered year. Broccoli had some legal battles with distribution rights which put the franchise on hold)

Naturally I was teeming with excitement when “GoldenEye” was finally shown in 1995 with Pierce Brosnan as the new Bond. I watched it at SM City with my high school and college buddy Jazz. Whew, I could still feel the adrenaline rush when the heart pumping intro of the theme song sounded off. (Even now I could still feel that rush, whenever the theme song plays on my car I unconsciously step on the accelerator and increase my cruising speed by 20 kph.) It felt like the 6 loooong years waiting for a Bond film was worth it. Our hunger was such that we stayed for another screening.

Next came “Tomorrow Never Dies in 1997. My schedule did not quite jibe with my roommates hence I had to watch the movie alone (They were available the following day but somehow I just couldn’t wait that long). I recall waking up early on its opening day and arriving at the movie house half an hour before the first screening, my packed lunch already prepared in my backpack. Knowing the long lines in SM on the first day, I chose the movie house in Ever Gotesco Commonwealth which turned out to be a good decision.

The next Pierce Brosnan’s film, “The World is Not Enough”, 1999, I watched in a moviehouse in Victoria Plaza in Davao City with Ms Doctolero, my science co-teacher. I was in Mindanao at that time working as a teacher. We were in Davao City for that day to buy supplies for the Science laboratory. I recall my dad kidding me over the phone because he got to see the film first in Iloilo City; the screenings in Davao and Gensan were a bit delayed.

For “Die Another Day” 2002, the honor goes to Pazette and Darwin, my hosts in Singapore. It was the first Bond movie I watched outside the Philippines. Pazette, my college batchmate was gracious enough to treat me for the advanced screening of the movie in Tang Plaza. It was also so sweet of her to give me a to-die-for Die Another Day poster which now hangs perfectly in my living room (Damn, Thanks Pazette !!!!) .

And now after 4 looong years, a new Bond movie is coming up. I was quite disappointed at first that they didn’t renew Pierce for the 21st film. There were rumors before that Aishwayra Rai would have been the Bond Girl, had Pierce accepted the offer. At any rate 4 long years is worth wait.

Clive Owen and Julian McMahon were considered before but I think the new Bond, Daniel Craig is worth a shot. A lot including my friend LesMatu were complaining that the new Bond is so un-Bond, lacking the required pretty boy features and suaveness, that previous Bonds exuded. But after watching the trailer, I think there is something elemental, cold-blooded and dangerous about the approach of Daniel Craig to the Bond character- it’s Bond at its rawest form.

At any rate whether the public agrees with me or not… damn, Casino Royale, you are worth the wait. What took you so long ?

Answers

2006-09-25T20:19:00.000+08:00

We live our lives searching for some answers. They come in various forms and various disguises depending on the questions we ask

Some come piecemeal as if pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, others come whole, blatant and crystal clear.

Some come at unexpected times, others never seem to come at all – or perhaps they had but we never acknowledged them.

Some answers are so surprisingly simple we failed to notice they have been there all along. Most remain elusive - only the patient eventually find them.

Some answers are comforting we find refuge in them, others are so painful we summon the courage to embrace them.

Some seek answers for contentment. Others for enlightenment. Still others for liberation.

Lucky are the ones who ask and get to receive their answers early on. Sad for those who spend an eternity chasing for their own answers.

But nothing can be more tragic than for those who spend their lifetime seeking and eventually finding the answers, only to realize upon looking back that they have asked the wrong questions.

Part Diz

2006-09-25T20:17:00.000+08:00

There’s no better analogy the way Mike has aptly put it - if New York city is a fun guy to be with, San Francisco is a beautiful lady. And my what a beautiful lady, San Francisco turned to be.

The last leg of my journey before I head back home.

Although I was still booked in an airport hotel, the trip this time to downtown was much faster and convenient. Save for a pathetic name – The BART ( Bay Area Rapid Transit) proved to be an efficient ride.

I was not set to meet my two batchmates in the area until the next day so I spent the early part of the evening roaming around the Fisherman’s wharf. The Cable car ride was not to be missed. I really enjoyed the ride since the streets in the area were very steep. I passed by the Ghirardelli square- VJ told me that the chocolates there were heavenly – so I bought several bars for the folks back home.

The following morning I left my stuff first at the stock room after checking out. I roamed once again the streets surrounding the Fisherman’s wharf. This time I walked from the train station to the wharf and casually took photos along the way. Had a glimpse of Alcatraz and a quick tour of the city on a double deck bus.

At 5 pm my Pisay batchmates Jand and Pat came by to pick me up at the hotel. We went to a nearby village and had a sumptuous treat of Japanese food.

Jand was the most religious guy I’ve met during my freshman year- always praying intently before and after his meals. He moved to the US after high school. I always thought he would make a brilliant priest. The next time I saw him (which was in college when he bunked in with my roommate Daj, another batchmate), Jand was casually flipping the pages of Penthouse.

Pat still had the devil-may-care attitude when it comes to expressing herself. The only vivid thing I remember about her was a Pinoy group practice held in Biology room. We were groupmates for a radio play of Arriverderci, during our sophomore year; she pushed the wrong button of the cassette player and shouted “Ay p*keng malaki”. I used to be shocked back then.

We were never really close in High school –each one had his own clique- but somehow having been exposed to the stress of the science high school environment we realized we had a lot in common. We had a bond that cannot be denied.

Our topics, ranging from the cerebral to down right kababawan, revolved on the very thing that bound us - our 4-year stay in Pisay.

I found it amusing how a single line from an obscure play – “Them’s not spiders dearie, them’s people, little people, hexed people” - can quite suddenly zoom us back in time. We talked as if we haven’t aged a bit. The conversation was very fruitful that Jand even got a thesis topic from the discussion – “why girls always fall for bad guys”

And then before we knew it was time for me to go.

On the way to the airport, Jand and Pat tempted with the idea of making a crazy move – stay there as “TNT”. Well I can’t say I did not consider the thought….

But then again I said to myself there’s always a proper time for everything.

Maybe next time around, I would stay there for good.

But right now, my heart lies where my home is.

A bite of the Big Apple (part sept)

2006-09-17T15:36:00.000+08:00

A heavy downpour greeted me, as if to assert the weather’s inherent unpredictability, on the Friday morning I checked out of Connecticut Hotel. Just when the personal leg of my journey was starting, Mother Nature was showing its overwhelming support. Great.

Fortunately a few hours later, the grey swirls of clouds retreated, the rain petered out and my hope of having a swell time in the Big Apple – earlier dashed by the downpour- came back as quickly as it had gone out.

With tons of office work waiting back home, I only had a day; -definitely not enough time to have a taste of the Big Apple -but the vision of my boss giving me the basilisk look, the kind that would put to shame Lord Voldermort’s lethal stare, made the idea of a hastily extended vacation unpalatable.

I arrived at the NY airport hotel around 10 am and was greeted by the devastating news that the check in time was at 4pm. What the *&*^%%^. I’ve heard of check in times as late as 2pm. But 4 pm???, you gotta be kidding me. It was the normal check in time all over the city, I was told. Oh great, thanks for telling me that now.

Fortunately the hotel manager allowed me to leave my stuff at their warehouse. With my luggage secured (i.e. squeezed in an inconspicuous corner of a cramped sundries room), I was free to roam around the city. Clock was hitting 12, when I got back downtown. On hindsight I should have checked in instead in a downtown hotel.

The rest of the day passed like a blur. The twists and turns of the New York subway were more confusing than I had earlier thought; a big chunk of my time was eaten up deciphering the routes. Twice I boarded off at the wrong station. It didn’t help that I was foolishly proud enough not to ask for directions.

With my ever-reliable MP3 player and killer shades, I gallivanted through the stretch of Sixth Avenue, gawked at the looming edifices, browsed through thrift shops, and despite lingering thoughts of muggers lurking nearby, scampered through the dimly-lit alleys, dousing off the persistent fear that I might end up in the operating table of a CSI analyst or in a tubful of ice minus my kidney and pancreas.

My digestive organs were not as adventurous; for lunch, instead of having a taste of the famous Manhattan hotdogs by the stands, I decided to settle for a McBland, Mctasteless Big Mac Meal. It was at that rare moment, that I craved for Chickenjoy despite the annoyingly pacute Aga Muhlach as its endorser.

It finally hit me that I was not Superman (despite the obvious resemblance, ..cough cough). The itinerary I originally set would have rendered any mortal exhausted. Grudgingly, I crossed out the Metropolitan Museum and the Boat trip to Staten Island from my things to do and instead spent the afternoon at the Rockefeller area.

I passed by the infamous “Museum of Sex”. It was not as controversial as I expected it to be but it was nonetheless informative and entertaining. A smattering of contraptions -stuff that Marques de Sade’s dreams are made of - were proudly displayed in one level, definitely not for the prude and the weak-hearted. I remembered Gil Grissom’s line to Madame Heather “I find all deviant behavior fascinating, in that to understand our human nature, we have to understand our aberrations.”

My trip to the Top of the Rock was the highlight of the tour. The elevator ride offered a thrilling view as we zoomed to the top. Just as exciting as the ride up, the view on top didn’t disappoint me. Skyscrapers I only got to see in the opening scenes of CSI NY were suddenly right there in front of my very eyes. Alive. It couldn’t get any more real that that.

I definitely had to have a photo with the Empire State building at the background. I befriended some tourists by offering to take their photos (with their cams of course). Quid pro quo they returned the favor by taking my shot.

I headed back to the hotel at 5 pm for I had an appointment with NY-based relatives at 7. At the subway while I was peering over the map, an old man approached me.

“ Can I help you young man ?”

He was probably in his early sixties, graying hair, decently dressed. He had an umbrella in one hand which he used as a cane when he walked. Something about his features reminded me of the actor that played Jim Phelps in Mission Impossible. Although he limped, there was an air of dignified dapperness in the way he walked.

Hesitantly I answered. Yeah I am headed for Jamaica station and was wondering which train to take.

I am headed that way. You can take the train I’m taking.

A stranger in the NY subway offering for help would probably raise some internal alarms. It didn’t help that I had some preconceived notions of New Yorkers being haughty and inhospitable people. After all this was a fast-paced city, and people here would never stop for a moment to get out of their way to help someone.

I couldn’t bank on my gaydar either; oftentimes screwed up and pathetically calibrated, someone would already be hitting on me before I would have an idea of what’s going on.
But something told me, (probably my inclination to believe in the goodness of others) that this man just wanted to help, pure and simple, with no ulterior motives.

I took his train. For the next 45 minutes or so, we exchanged stories. For that brief span of time, I got a glimpse of his world, he got a glimpse of mine. He would have never thought I was a Filipino if I hadn’t told him. Yes he knew some Filipinos in his work and found them to fun-loving and hard-working people. He had a house in San Francisco but was working in NY as Vice President of a bank. He recounted his days in the Vietnam War and mourned the loss of his comrades. Somehow I noticed a woebegone expression, as he talked about his kids who were all grown up (as if everything happened in a blink) and now living on their own.
Despite the setting, it felt as if we were on a lake and he was teaching me how to fish.

Before he boarded off the train, we exchanged business cards and he wished me the best.

As the train doors were closing I somehow felt some pang of loss, the kind that you feel when two friends part ways at the inevitable end of a journey. For a moment, I hoped that our paths would cross again, but knowing life, it seemed a remote possibility.

I realized there’s a gem in the saying that you can be with someone for 30 years, yet still remain acquaintances, and be with someone for 30 minutes and remain friends for a lifetime.

In this whirligig called life, I am just thankful that occasionally we meet such persons albeit briefly, who make the journey more meaningful.

The Flight Out (part neuf)

2006-09-17T15:26:00.000+08:00

My flight to San Francisco the following day was at 11 am. As always, there was no opportunity for serendipity. It had seemed to be an unlucky ride. Although I got a window seat, I got seated next to a frail seventy-ish lady who I suspect has a severe respiratory problem. Her coughs were loud, incessant and deep like her ribs were hollow.
She kept on coughing so forcefully I wouldn’t have been surprised if her dentures or esophagus shot out of her mouth.
Something did shoot out. It was probably Quaker oats she had for breakfast. Good thing she managed to catch the vomit deftly in her handkerchief- not deft enough though to hide the sight from me. I stared at the window and tried to forget what I saw. “Oh boy, it’s gonna be a looooong flight to San Fo”
Her white gnarled hands reminded me of my Lola Olive. I still have vivid memories of my Lola’s hands when she gave me her rosary. The same hands that used to clutch a white hanky which she also used as her improvised wallet; bills neatly folded, secured by two square knots
The hanky of the old lady beside me contained something else. And the thought of it and the long flight ahead made me uneasy.
During our ascent she started out a conversation. She was from Kansas. I told her I was from the Philippines. I did not bother asking how she ended up taking a San Fo Flight from New York. Normally I would have lots of follow up questions to keep the ball rolling but I was half-tired, half-squeamish. Somehow the old lady felt that I was uninterested so the talk ended up abruptly. I decided to browse through the magazines to alleviate the air of uncomfortable silence (save for the occasional coughing).
When the plane steadied and the seat belt signs were off, I stood up and checked out for vacant seats. Great ! Our flight was only half-full; there were plenty of vacancies in the middle. The old lady’s companion, a lady probably in her forties- a caretaker maybe- occupying the aisle seat, somehow read my thoughts and understood my predicament. “ It’s alright young man. You can transfer anytime”. I excused myself from the old lady and clutched my jacket. As I was easing out of our row she threw me a question. “From which part of the Philippines are you?”
“I am from the Philippines” And my mind was like “Yeah, like an old lady from Kansas would have an idea of the places in the Philippines”
“Yeah I already know that. I mean which place? Like Manila for instance”
I was somehow surprised that she knew something about the Philippines, more that it just being a country in the Far East. (Yeah, I know it’s rather mean of me to have underestimated her). It would have taken a lot longer if I told her “ I actually grew up in Antique an island in the Visayas blah blah” so I just said “Yeah I’m from Manila”
I just had to get out of there. And fast.
But then for the first time I stared into her eyes and held her gaze for a moment. She had a deep and penetrating look and it was welling with sadness. There was something about it that tugged the depths of my soul.
What was she conveying? What was it that I saw? What was it that struck me? Sorrow? Pain? Fear? Longing?
Was she afraid of her impending death?
Was she crying for her unbearable loneliness, the kind that you feel when you’ve lost a loved one?
Was she pleading for companionship, like when you’re lost, alone and cut-off from the world ?
Was it really sorrow in her eyes that I saw or maybe it was my own sorrow reflected?
I did consider going back to my seat. For some strange reasons I felt pity to the lady. But I was already on my way and I disliked the idea of appearing foolishly ambivalent.
I transferred to the middle section of the plane where everything was peaceful. I could have easily taken my respite. Yet the pleading look from the old lady haunted me.
There she was, lonely, afraid, longing for a kind soul to talk to and I, the one person who could have made things easier for her, abandoned her.
I felt at that instant that I was the meanest person on earth.

Die Hard in New York (Part huit)

2006-09-17T15:24:00.000+08:00

“Die Hard” was a term coined back from Pisay days. We refer it jokingly to players who would exert their last ounce of effort to save the ball – never mind if you dive like a kamikaze, go skittering across the pavement, and risk breaking a limb, if it all meant saving a single yet crucial point for the team.

By all means, I was making my NY stay the “die hard” way. Time was the enemy and any moment spent resting is precious time lost. By the time I got back to the hotel, my entire body was already protesting and craving to rest. The comfort of the soft pillow, the wooly blanket and the cold blast of the aircon was sooooo tempting you could have Anna Nicole Smith naked in there and I would still opt to have a long and deep slumber. After all when push comes to shove, sleep comes first in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
But I promised my Tita Acay Remy that I would pass by their place. It was in Mushulu Parkway which was on the other side of New York City and it meant going back downtown again. (Damnit, next time never book in an airport hotel). I was almost tempted to cancel the appointment- I was too damn exhausted.
But the other side of me thought that I rarely get the opportunity to meet my relatives in New York, whereas I could have all the rest and sleep I want back in the Philippines. (I am glutton when it comes to sleeping.)
So I did it the Die Hard” way and headed back to downtown at 7 pm. There was only one train exchange which was convenient as I was dozing off the entire time. As the train was approaching to Moshulu parkway, which was at the near end of the Bronx area, I noticed during my torpid state, that the passenger skin tones became darker and darker.
I’ve heard lots of crime stories in the Bronx ( the Tondo version of New York) so I was really wary when I boarded off the station. The site was an awful mess really -skewed turnstiles, busted phone booths, dimly lit stairways, graffiti on walls, stench of urine and alcohol – the typical NY subway crime scene you get to see in movies. I ran as fast as I could and only stopped when I saw a well-lit convenience store with a phone booth a block away from the station.
My Tito Bubot picked me up. Their place was a little bit cramped but I was somehow amazed that they were able to fit all their butingtings in the apartment. You know, the usual Pinoy accoutrements- an altar, Sto. Nino, a painting of the last supper, souvenir items from long forgotten weddings and debuts, photo albums.
Tito Bubot and Tita Acay Remy used to be teachers in my hometown and had moved to the Big Apple about a decade ago in search for the American Dream. They are third degree cousins of my mother. Tita Acay Belen, another relative was staying with them. My mom and the 2 Tita Acays were co-teachers in my Alma Mater. I was quite amused to recall that these Tita Acays were the two teachers I feared most – their strictness was well known among my schoolmates. Hell, I could still even recall the two instances Tita Acay Belen scolded me in class.
How quaint, my elementary years were sandwiched by two terror teachers: Tita Acay Remy, kindergarten; Tita Acay Belen, grade 6. Never would I have ever imagined when I was in Elementary that I would someday be having dinner with them in New York City.
A feast they served and how - crabs, prawns, tuna, chicken- it almost felt like I was back home eating at Kamayan restaurant. The trip was well worth it. Tita Acay explained that it’s almost like the Philippines there with all the ingredients of typical Filipino food available and reasonably priced.
We exchanged stories. I gave them updates of the hometown happenings. They recounted their tales – the difficulties they had to go through until finally getting the sought-after green card. In true Filipino fashion, they gave some pasalubong for the folks back home. It was almost midnight when they drove me back to the hotel
And so came the end of my New York journey. I was just happy to finally get some shut-eye.
In the movie Die Hard, Bruce Willis saves the world, kills the bad guys and gets the girl.
In my life story, at least in this episode, there’s no world to save, no bad guys to kill, no girl to get. But at least, the good guy, after a long and tiring yet eventful journey, gets to have the rest he well deserved. That I guess makes a good happy ending for now.

Why I Love dogs

2006-05-21T17:56:00.000+08:00

Oh the wonders of Internet. I finally got to download a short story I first read almost 20 years ago. This story has had a major impact on me and explains my passion for dogs. After all these years , I still can't help but get teary-eyed after reading this story.

TWO WERE LEFT
By Hugh B. Cave

On the third night of hunger, Noni thought of the dog. Nothing of flesh
and blood lived upon the floating ice island except those two.

In the breakup, Noni had lost his sled, his food, his furs, even his knife. He had saved only Nimuk, his great devoted husky. And now the two, marooned on the ice, eyed each other warily each keeping his distance.

Noni’s love for Nimuk was real, very real as real as hunger and cold nights and the gnawing pain of his injured leg. But the men of his village killed their dogs when food was scarce, didn’t they? And without thinking twice about it.

And Nimuk, he told himself, when hungry enough would seek food. One of us will soon be eating the other, Noni thought.

He could not kill the dog with his bare hands. Nimuk was powerful and much fresher than he. A weapon, then, was needed. Removing his mittens, he unstrapped the braces from his leg. When he had hurt his leg a few weeks before, he had made the brace from bits of harness and two thin strips of iron.

Kneeling now, he wedged one of the iron strips into a crack in the ice and began to rub the other against it with firm, slow strokes. Nimuk watched him, and it seemed to Noni that the dog’s eyes glowed more brightly.

He worked on, trying not to remember why. The slab of iron had an edge now. It had begun to take shape. Daylight found his task completed.

Noni pulled the finished knife from the ice and thumbed its edge. The sun’s glare, reflected from it, stabbed at his eyes and momentarily blinded him.

Noni steeled himself. Here, Nimuk, he called softly. The dog suspiciously watched him.

Come here, Noni called. Nimuk came closer. Noni read fear in the animal’s gaze. He read
hunger and suffering in the dog’s labored breathing and awkward crouch. His heart wept. He hated himself and fought against it.

Closer Nimuk came, aware of his intentions. Now Noni felt a thickening in his throat. He saw the dog’s eyes, and they were wells of suffering.

Now! Now was the time to strike!

A great sob shook Noni’s kneeling body. He cursed the knife. He swayed blindly, flung the weapon far from him. With empty hands outstretched, he stumbled toward the dog and fell.

The dog growled as he circled the boy’s body. And now Noni was sick with fear. In flinging the knife, he had left himself defenseless. He was too weak to crawl after it now. He was at Nimuk’s mercy, and Nimuk was hungry.

The dog circled him and was creeping up from behind. Noni heard the rattle in the savage throat. He shut his eyes, praying that the attack might be swift. He felt the dog’s feet against his leg, the hot rush of Nimuk’s breath against his neck.

A scream gathered in the boy’s throat. Then he felt the dog’s hot tongue licking his face.
Noni’s eyes opened. Crying softly, he thrust out an arm and drew the dog’s face down against his own

The plane came out of the south an hour later. Its pilot, a young man of the coast patrol, looked down and saw the large floating iceberg. And he saw something flashing. It was the sun gleaming on something shiny, which moved. His curiosity aroused, the pilot banked his ship and descended. Now he saw, in the shadow of the peak of ice, a dark, still shape that appeared to be human. Or were there two shapes?

He set his ship down in a water lane and investigated. There were two shapes, boy and dog. The boy was unconscious but alive. The dog whined feebly but was too weak to move.

The gleaming object which had caught the pilot’s attention was a crude knife, stuck point first into the ice a little distance away, and quivering in the wind.

A verse, A song, A book, A movie

2006-03-15T22:28:00.000+08:00

I’ve been pretty much depressed lately. And it isn’t the usual depression that could be drowned by a couple of bottles or a cruise through NLEX. This probably explains my self-imposed isolation from Friendster and the blogging world for the past 2 weeks. I was hoping in my period of discernment to find some answers.

But as it is, the answers remain elusive. I wish life’s questions could be as simple as deriving the roots of a formula. But even the roots of a simple equation can be complex and imaginary. One just has to deal with the extraneous, the complexities, the ambiguities.

The answers may never be found. It is probably the process of arriving at those answers that is important.

Life goes on…

A biblical verse (Ecclesiastes 2:10-11)

Anything I wanted, I took. I did not restrain myself from any joy. I even found great pleasure in hard work, an additional reward for all my labors.

But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless. It was like chasing the wind. There was nothing really worthwhile anywhere.

A song (Lyrics of a song by Diana Ross)

Do you know where you're going to?

Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?

Do you get
What you're hoping for
When you look behind you
There's no open door
What are you hoping for?
Do you know...?

A book (lines from a book “The Hunt for Red October” by Tom Clancy. These lines were flashed during a sermon in UP a few weeks back)

Markus Ramius watched the coffin roll into the cremation chamber to the somber strain of the classical requiem, wishing that he could pray for Natalia’s soul, hoping that Grandmother Hilda had been right, that there was something beyond the steel door and mass of flame. Only then did the full weight of the event strike him: the State had robbed him of more than his wife. It had robbed him of a means to assuage his grief with prayer. It had robbed him of the hope – if only an illusion – of ever seeing her again.

A movie (from the Movie “Contact”)

Alien: You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other.

Dr. Arroway: So what happens now?

Alien: Now, you go home…

Dr Arroway : But others need to see what I see. They need to..

Alien: This was just the first step. In time, we will take another.

Dr. Arroway: But…

Alien: Small moves Ellie… small moves.

First Time

2006-02-26T17:18:00.000+08:00

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

A few Fridays ago, I did something for the first time with my 3 lady friends. And what a first time it was! Menage-a-quatre makeover.

What started as a tame game of trumps with Jen, Shane and Cecille ended up with a ludicrous wager. It was all seemingly innocuous at first

If I win, I get to have a free dinner at my place of choice.

If I lose, they get to mess up with my hair and my entire outfit.

Definitely a no-brainer. Sure I’ve got something to lose, but my guts were saying it was going to be an easy win.

How was I to know the outcome would be the opposite? To make the story short, I lost and the girls were pleased to give the punishment.

I could have taken the easy way out, kneel down, cry like a baby and ask for a different penalty. But ego can be a bad thing so like a true gentleman, I had to stick to the agreement (despite the apprehension and almost wetting my pants).

So come next Friday night, I became the unwitting star –nah more like the hapless victim- of my eager friends. (Eager is probably tame, they were more like drooling like a pack of velociraptors before the kill). I somehow suspect they are dying to stage their own version of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Being a staunch advocate of science I knew the value of experimentation, but it didn’t assuage my fear knowing I was the guinea pig in their makeover experiment.

A P400 haircut, 2 grams of Hair Clay, 3 trips to the fitting room, gazillion deafening heartbeats and tons of perspiration later I became their finished work of art. I must admit from the before and after shots the transformation was well…uh…noticeable.

I was initially hesitant with the new me, but judging from the reactions of my officemates, classmates, and friends, number of profile views, and some proposals bordering on indecency, I could say I now have high regard for women’s intuition and taste.

Losing a bet actually never felt this great!

Hey Jen, Cess, Shane anytime you want to makeover my unit, dinner’s on me. Hehehe. Cheers!

Mnemonic Possession

2006-02-23T01:09:00.001+08:00

Hear ye. Hear ye. You folks out there, remember the name … Jodl Gayatin. I shall forever be known in the field of astronomy.

Celestial navigators shall refer to me in their lifelong quest.

Star struck poets (not the Dream Believe Survive kind of crap) shall have mouthful froth upon hearing my name.

Amateur astronomers shall glorify me in astronomy books for generations and generations to come.

Aren’t you glad you have known me in your lifetime? Better ask for my autograph now while I’m still reachable.

Ok lower down those eyebrows. (You too Ria T.!) What amazing feat, you ask, have I done to earn such prestige?

Have I discovered a heretofore-unknown planet? Nope discoveries of heavenly bodies ain’t my cup of tea.

Have I proven the presence of a black hole in nearby regions of the solar system? Not quite…although I once did suspect its existence somewhere between the ears of a former boss.

Have I derived the great equation for the Theory of Everything thereby unifying the four forces of the universe? The much-sought equation that has eluded Einstein. That one single beeeeautiful equation that holds true in the beginning and at the end of time. The Holy Grail of Physics. An awesome far-reaching formula that encompasses Newton’s Laws, Relativity and Quantum Mechanics. A mathematical derivation, Ockham’s-razor in its simplicity yet brilliantly elegant; eternal and enduring be it at the heart of Big Bang or at the fringes of the Event Horizon. (okay if you’ve reached this part without having brain hemorrhage, nay on the contrary even groaning in ecstasy…. my advice…you’re spending too much in the theoretical subatomic world - grab a beer and get a life !) (how dare this schmuck tell me to fix my life when he spends his free time croaking sappy songs and scribbling senseless blog stuff)

No folks… None of the above.

I, a few years and heartaches back, once came up with a mnemonic device. ( Mnemonic devices– you know stuff like “Every Good Boy Does Fine” in Music or the “Bad Boys Rape Our Young Girls But Violy Gave in Willingly.. in Electrical Engg)

I was a college student then who joined the great UP Astronomical Society for a profoundly compelling reason - my ravishing classmate was also applying. Oh the ironies of life, she never finished the application and I eventually got stuck with a bunch of stiff-necked, bespectacled, geeky folks (who are nonetheless adorable, cute and exciting – I know you guys are going to read this, so there!)

Anyway, Astronomy 101 – the zodiacal constellations in sequence are ARIES, TAURUS, GEMINI, CANCER, LEO, VIRGO, LIBRA, SCORPIO, SAGITTARIUS, CAPRICORN, AQUARIUS and PISCES. (By the way, ASTRONOMY is different from ASTROLOGY, the former is science the latter is a pseudo science bullsh*t) It’s kinda hard memorizing the sequence so I came up with a Mnemonic Device. One that is simple and star-studded…

“According To Gabby Concepcion Laging Very Loving Si Sharon Cuneta After Performance.”

Lo and behold. Several years and star gazing sessions after, amateur astronomers are using my mnemonic device. Yeba! Talk about legacy. (ok you should realize by the now the feat is really nothing stupendous, but since this is my blog allow me to feel deluded a bit )

(Here's the link. Please read the footnote)
http://home.astronomy.com.ph/?id=/200601/columns/editorial

Actually the Mnemonic device might not have its enduring quality. The young ones would no longer recognize who the hell Gabby Concepcion is.

Ancient Showbiz 101 for the young ones and the feeling young ones with feigned amnesia. Gabs and Shawie were the Juday and Piolo, or Bea and Lloyd or Uma and Sam (hehe peace Uma fans) of the 80’s.

Gabby Concepcion became my father-in-law (at least in my own parallel universe) when a lovely lady emerged like an Immaculate Venus from a pool of water (or was that a pool of pH care? – I couldn’t bear to associate KC soaked and cleansed in a pool of feminine wash…. you do the analogy)

At any rate folks, do remember the mnemonic device. It might come in handy especially if you know where to spot the constellations. Knowing the names and their locations would definitely give gazillion pogi points during a stroll under the night sky with your hot date. Just don’t lose your cool like I did last time

Gorgeous gal : ( after being told the names of the stars she’d been pointing) Wow, Jodl

you know your stars pretty well (with twinkling eyes)

Me: Yeah… Actually You know what ? You remind me of the stars..

GG: Really and why is that?…(purring)

Me: Er…. Well …Uhm… ( Darn, notice how you forget the lines you’ve memorized a thousand times during that crucial moment)

GG: Y--es? (eyes twinkling more rapidly this time)

Me: Er…You’re like a star, coz.. er…..um…you’re a heavenly body, light years away , flaming like one big ball of hot gases… (Arrgh , it was not supposed to go like that..)

GG: (after a moment of stunned disbelief) Moron !

Happy stargazing !

Valentine Aftershock

2006-02-18T21:45:00.000+08:00

Time to get sappy, mawkish, senti…

Hey I have an excuse, it’s still the week of Valentine’s.

Actually I hate Valentine’s. It is just an elaborate ploy by the bloody capitalists to make fools of the clueless XY-chromosomed species. We’re pressured to buy flowers and gifts as proof of our affection.

And where’s the justice there? Only a handful dine over a candlelight, watch a concert, stroll on a starry night while the rest (i.e the singles, heartbrokens and unclaimed gifts) are forced to stay at home, watch horror movies and eat blueberry cheesecake to assuage their loneliness. (ok ok sour graping lang po ng isang SMV 06 member)

But cynical, I am not. In fact in the spirit of Valentine’s let me share some snippets of lyrics playing in my CD player these past few weeks. Fancy what a 120mm disk can do – it can cool the hottest of heads during the grueling rush hour traffic in C5.

Notice how some lines of a song flash vignettes of your so-called life? So handy for folks like me who are morons when it comes to articulating this creepy thing called love. Now all I have to do is lift those lines.

(I know, I need to update my song list already – they ‘re very ancient- but I find the current songs playing on the airwaves lacking the oomph. Either that or I am tuned to the wrong stations)

Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking for by U2

I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you
I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I Don’t Want To Wait by Dido

I don't want to to wait for our lives to be over,
I want to know right now what will it be
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
Will it be yes or will it be...sorry?

Dreaming by Selena

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up late and think of you and I wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

'Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

Hello by Lionel Richie

Hello, is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying ... I love you

Superman by Five For Fighting

It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Missing You by John Waite

In your world
I have no meaning
Though I'm trying hard
to understand
And it's my heart that's breaking
Down this long distance line tonight
I ain't missing you at all
Since you've been gone
Away
I ain't missing you
No matter
What my friends say

King of Wishful Thinking by Go West

I refuse to give in to my blues
That's not how it's going to be
And I deny the tears in my eyes
I don't want to let you see.. no
That you have made a hole in my heart
And now I've got to fool myself..

I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking..

(Special thanks to Jen A. for the Sunset photo. Hanep ah 3 Jens have been actively part of this blog. Jen S. the florist, Jen M. the lawyer and Jen A. the sunset-chaser. Mabuhay kayong lahat! Happy V !)

Time Capsule - This One's For You Mac

2006-02-15T06:18:00.000+08:00

Time Capsule – This One’s for you Mac

It’s Feb 14 and I suppose as expected by some, this entry would tackle one of the most profound mysteries of the world -love. But I am not really a big fan of Valentines Day. The world – well at least the so-called civilized part anyway- has a way of ruining the best days of the year through commercialization. Gone are the days when a simple picnic by the brook would suffice to celebrate life, love, existence, togetherness, possibilities. In a world that has slowly gone aberrant one’s depth of commitment is now associated by the number of carats of the ring or the $ value of the gift. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned love?

But hey before I proceed with my litany, this log is way off the big V.

It is about an event that happened on Valentine’s day a few years back.

Thw year was 2001. We buried a time capsule on a Valentine’s Day. In Dole Philippines School, where I taught science for 2 years, Valentine’s Day coincides with Teacher’s Appreciation Day. At that time I organized a time capsule burial activity with my freshman advisory class. I was all set to go back to the Corporate world and wouldn’t be able to see my kids go through high school. But I made a pact with them that in 3 years time (on their senior year) I would go back on that same date to dig up the treasure together.

Time capsule burial is something that has always fascinated me. In the absence of a time machine, it is a way of connecting the past and the future. There is that inevitable challenge of fulfilling a promise to unearth the treasure. It is about a commitment that no matter what, your future self will have to make the journey full circle.

My fascination harks back to the “Blood Brothers” episode of MacGyver, which I first saw on my second year in high school.

For a young naïve, promdi kid studying in Philippine Science High, hundreds of miles away from the family, it meant dealing all alone with the culture shock, homesickness, bullies, and adolescence angst. I had literally no one to turn to. (Picture yourself in your high school years, dealing with all these stuff, all alone. That was how tough it was) And so it probably made sense that my father figure during those tumultuous years was a fictional character by the name of MacGyver.

Such probably was his impact that the first course I took in college was Applied Physics, Mac’s Field of Expertise. When I shifted to Chemical Engineering I even used Mac’s byline as rationalization- exploring other fields. (This he mentioned to his professor in the episode “Hell Week”, one of the best episodes) On hindsight, I did seem to have inherited MacGyver’s curse with the ladies as well – occasionally linked but emotionally inaccessible.

Anyway, this “Blood Brothers” episode was perhaps the best in the series. It was in this episode that viewers went back in time to discover the root cause of the central “flaw” in Mac’s character- his strong distaste for guns.

This was also the episode where Mac had a taste of the sublime and came back to fulfill a pact he made as a kid – to unearth the time capsule he buried with his buddies.

Of course MacGyver at first had a hard time convincing his buddies. Somehow his friends have “matured” already and never saw the beauty of fulfilling the promise.

*****

Fast forward to the year 2004. I was already based in Manila as an EHS Engineer. It had been three years since I left the academe. But I did recall the pact I had with my students. It was a pact that I had to keep no matter what the odds were.

And so on Valentines day of 2004 exactly 3 years after, after wrestling with my boss to grant me a leave, canceling a blind date, and draining my savings for the plane fare (I had to cut down on my gimmick expenses just to set aside the amount) I went back to Mindanao to fulfill the promise.

It seemed pretty stupid to go through all the trouble just to dig up what arguably was a worthless piece of junk. But as I looked at the treasure we unearthed, I felt an inner sense of joy, peace and fulfillment. I had a connection with my old idealistic self. It was like going back in time.

What I did was probably foolish and impractical. But for me it had been a life statement.

It was my way of expressing that I haven’t succumbed to the banalities of life.

It was a message to my kids that promises are meant to be kept.

More importantly, it was also my way of saying - Hey Mac, Thanks. This one’s for you.

She Who Must Not Be Named

2006-02-11T11:09:00.000+08:00

I was all set to give my new baby a name. Suffice to say it was just short of having a baptismal party, with ninongs and ninangs in tow and the works.

After all, the hardest part – determining the most suitable name to call my new car- was over.

Technically the car isn’t mine, it belongs to the company. But so long as I humbly submit myself to the beck and call of the almighty company, to work and to slave, for better or for worse, in paid sick leaves and in health, till resignation/ retrenchment do us part, I shall be enjoying the car benefit.

And since I will be stuck with the car for the next five years, I thought of giving her a name to personalize the ..uh.. partnership.

Arriving at THE NAME has not been an easy task. For one, there is that looming benchmark; it has to be a name at par with her predecessor…the exotically and seductively sounding Tanya..

It didn’t help that after posting the Tanya entry I have received numerous messages from inquisitive friends asking who my next car will be. Talk about pressure. .

So name-shopping I did…

Initially, I considered some Spanish names – Maria, Corazon, Socorro, Rosario, Dolor, Amparo. Just listening to the series makes you sigh and utter gibberishly …Madre mia, que bonita”; “Tiene una cara perfecta pero es si inteligente?, Mama Cita donde esta Santa Claus?”.. But before I get flipped out by the romance of the language, I had to remind myself that these names are now attributed to women of the bygone era . Ah que lastima !

The name, I decided, has to be more 21st century. It should evoke mystery. Undoubtedly feminine with finesse and spunk. It should be enduring. Pleasant to the ear even after a couple of years and thousands of mileage.

Tiffany, Stephanie, Katrina, Olivia, Kristina, Melissa – Such gorgeous names. Unfortunately I had to scrap them out from the list because I have folks in my network with these names. Lest I earn their ire, I took the safer route. Hell hath no fury than a lady friend named after a lifeless metallic junk.

Moving on with the list

Amanda – hmmm I picture Griffin and Page here. I haven’t known anyone named Amanda who’s not pretty… a good name… a possibility…

Asia - too slutty, no thanks.

Cindy – a winner… but could be associated with Cindy Kato and Patay Cindy… sorry Ms. Kurleto, this one’s out…

Anjanette – close your eyes… what comes to your mind?.... nice name right?...

Britney – taken na po (hikbi)….. .definitely out…. (Trivia- Britney and I have the same birth date, kewl- ok so you’ve got something in common, so what?)

Bianca – ah… a name fit for senoritas and herederas, fair-skinned damsels who’d faint at a pin prick, another one of those “Tiene una cara perfecta” kind of name.. Marvelous (sigh) …but way up there on the pedestal…unreachable.

Hermione – Cute name. Cute character. You gotta admit the way she says “Wingardium Levi-yoooo-sa” is kinda haughty, smart and sexy. She could Avada Kedavra me anytime… But cradle snatcher I am not ….next please…

Winona – hmmm fancy, I did consider this. I picture Ms Ryder in Coppolla’s “Dracula” before her klepto bout. Her name though, is used so often in gay lingo, its glamour has been reduced to the level of chaka, chuvalu, and cheness so I guess this one is definitely chugi .

Jolens, Jopay and Juday – If it starts with a J, It’s kinda okay (hey that rhymes !!)….but nah…too Jologs.

Keanna, Kuhdet, Krungkrung, – What’s with K man? I’d rather walk half-naked from Antipolo to Bicutan, in the heat of the midday sun than name my car after them..

And then it hit me…I saw a big sign in a construction site with THE NAME to be… Yep That’s it. ! Why not? Cute name… very feminine. .. Not too classy. Not too jologs either. The recall is great. Two syllables, 007 letters, and starts with a P. Can be both scientific and poetic. Ah perfect… The search is over…

But life is full of ironies.. On the night, I planned to reveal the name, my friend Jenny offered an urban legend. It sounded more like a curse. (Hi Jen, sorry for the delay, I know you looked forward to this entry.) (By the way, folks out there, if you’re planning to buy Flowers for Valentine’s or for wedding, please order from Ka-Blooms, owned and managed by my lovely friend Jen. Grabe shameless plugging ito hehehe)

Now where was I? Oh yeah, the curse… According to the curse, guys who name their cars don’t end up in a meaningful relationship.

Hhhhuwhaaaat???? My incredulity exactly. (It was not just an ordinary what. It was more surreal, like the Dove commercial “No, she’s not my daughter, she’s my granddaughter” incredulous kind of what)

Hey I might have the name ready and all but…..I just didn’t want to taunt fate.

Am not superstitious… (Yeah right ).

You must understand my situation I had no choice…(Ok we hear you)

So reluctantly I have finally decided to call the car “She Who Must Not Be Named”.

Darn !

(In case you’re wondering what the name would have been, you’re invited to guess. Hanep ah, naging interactive na itong blog. First one to guess it correctly gets 2 orders of kinilaw and 6 bottles of San Mig light in Riverbanks or a dinner at Seven Suites at Antipolo. Cheers!)

(Special thanks to Atty Mildred for the photo used in this entry. Great shot! Keep shooting!)

GOODBYE TANYA

2006-01-27T12:43:00.000+08:00

Goodbye Tanya.

Alas…Some good things never last.

As you’re going your way and I goin’ mine, let us be grateful for the journey that has been.

Thank you for one and a half years of fun-filled memories.
It has been such a great ride and it wouldn’t have been as memorable without you.

You were my first and that makes you special…

I will always remember our frequent drive to White Rock- the way we deftly maneuvered the serpentine roads of Antipolo.

I will cherish our Carpe Diem moments – unscheduled lunches in Tagaytay, spur-of the-moment RORO to Antique, free-wheeling in Baguio, getting stranded in Calapan, sunset-chasing in San Jose, ghost hunting in Bugasong.

I will always recall the sounds we’ve listened to, from the hilarious tambalang balasubas at balahura to the weekend tandem of Cherry and Paul in Light Rock to the “ginapamitaan bisan diin” time slot of my bro.

I will never forget your captivating Coronado Cherry scent.

You’ve been part of the family. I know my parents, my brothers and my sisters, even my friends who knew you intimately, would surely miss you.

You were always there for me - when I had to go early to the office or when I had to stay late to finish some stuff. Even on weekends you dutifully accompanied me, like a princess in green shining armor

I know at times I may have neglected you.
If I could turn back time…. I would spend more time with you, sleep with you more often, wash your whole body with more passion.

But now it’s time for us to go on our separate ways. I would definitely miss you.

Goodbye Tanya.

(Tanya is the name I gave to the green Civic issued to me in Wrigley. My first car. I shall be turning her over this week to the next owner)

You're Dah Man, Pac Man !!!!!

2006-01-22T20:31:00.000+08:00

Last night I found myself clutching the rosary uttering the Apostles Creed, Our Father and the 53 Hail Mary’s in Espanol (one way I practice Spanish ).

Pray the rosary, I rarely do, unless there’s something I really wanted to ask- like the release of Angelo Dela Cruz.

Last night I was restless and desperate; I baaaaadly wanted Manny Pacquiao to win the fight against Morales. I have never salivated like a hungry wolf over a victory before- well not since the Onyok Velasco Olympic fight.

This just wasn’t Manny’s fight. It was the fight of the Philippines. The hope of the entire nation lay on his hands literally.

In these times of uncertainty, of despair, of endless political bickering, we badly need an inspiration. We need a hero to remind us that we are indeed lucky to be Filipinos.

There was no other way. Manny has got to win. ( I actually received a joke text message that the 4 Magdalo members who got out just wanted to watch the Pacman fight and promised to return on Monday-hehe cute joke.)

Sunday morning, I was glued to the TV watching the much-awaited fight. Wanting to savor the excitement, I texted my 2 supervisors who were watching in SM Cinema not to text the outcome of the results.

However while round 2 was still going on TV, I received a message from a former student

GJ : “ Sir, alam ko na result ng laban =( “

The “=(“. led me to thinking,… My God . Was it a loss? I pleaded to God that it wasn’t true. Please please, the Philippines badly needed this win.

Damn I didn’t know I was that desperate, I actually negotiated that if He would let Pacquiao win, I would not just be a good boy, I will be a very very very good boy. ( Sa amin na lang ni Lord, kung anong mga pinangako ko hehehe)

If the battle was indeed a loss, I would have to know that very moment. So I googled “Pacquiao” and there it was, the announcement “ Pacquiao beats Morales”.

It turned out the “=( “ actually was to express disappointment by GJ for knowing the results already.

At any rate I didn’t care if I knew the result already while round 2 was still going on.

Pacquiao did it ! We made it ! The Philippines did it !

YEBA !!!!!!!! YEBA !!!!!! YEBA!!!!!

Damn, I have never been so proud to be a Filipino…

To Manny the PacMan… You’re the MAN!!!!

Thank you. Merci Gracias. Salamat ! for making us proud!

Kahit mali mali English mo, I don’t give a damn, I have elevated you to idol status along with Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Jose Rizal, Agatha Christie, Pope John Paul 2, J.K. Rowling, James Bond and Angus MacGyver.

I am so ecstatic I will actually treat my friends for a beer drinking session to celebrate your victory. (well kung ilan kakasya sa apartment)

Damn I am so happy I will buy your album instead of Ultraelectromagneticjam (didn’t know till today that you’re a recording artist).

I will give up being Kapuso temporarily if only to watch you in the Kapamilya network

I will totally support you, I will buy all the products you endorse.

I will stock supplies of Alaxan kahit wala akong body pains.

I will pakyaw Darlington socks kahit baduy commercial niyo.

I will wash my clothes and scrub my toilet with Surf powder – hell, even wash my face with it.

I will wear No Fear Underwear even though I may not have the balls for it.

(Just make sure you don’t endorse Bambini, Pau Liniment or Likas Papaya when you come back, ok?)

I will consume my entire load if you become a Big Brother housemate.

I will erect a statue for you when I become rich someday.

I will name my first child after you, kahit babae… (okay, okay will somebody whack me please)

Manny, Maraming maraming salamat !

Response to the Message in a Bottle

2006-01-20T22:34:00.000+08:00

A friend asked how the Jodl of 2006 would have responded to the Message in a bottle. So Cecille, here goes a rather long entry. Suffice to say my planned 3 entries for the week have been fulfilled.

Thanks Stan for the photo.

THE RESPONSE

January 20, 2006

Dear Jodl of 2001,

Hello there. Got your message. Though am not sure if the letter was meant for me or for some future version of us, the Jodl of 2011 maybe?

You threw a non-biodegradable mineral bottle to the sea? Tsk tsk.. your passionate environmentalist friends would crucify you. Better make it up for Mother Earth. Go plant kamachile or santol or any fruit-bearing tree in the backyard after reading this. And I mean it.

No, that bottle was never picked up. You failed to include the fourth scenario: saving a draft of the message in your journal and reading it a few years after.

An older, bolder and rather exhibitionist version of yourself (C’est moi) posted it on the net. Now the whole cyberspace knows what a sappy person you are. Tsk tsk tsk… Kidding.

The year now is 2006. We are five years apart. It’s kinda weird writing to you. I mean I don’t have any idea how to send this message to you ( time machines are not yet invented and will probably not be in my lifetime, I mean our lifetime, …whatever). But I do hope you get this message wherever you are in this time-space continuum. (Geez this is really weird, kinda like talking to yourself with a dose of Einstein and Wormholes and Twilight Zone kind of stuff… weird but kewl !)

At any rate today is JANUARY 20. At this date in your time, you, Aims, Meann and your first year class are in Davao for the Art Appreciation Field Trip.

How can I forget? You were checking in at the hotel when it was announced on national TV that Erap has stepped down and Gloria Macapagal Arroyo was sworn in as the new President. You screamed at the top of your lungs like some lunatic. Indeed it was a great time of rejoicing for the whole nation. Cory Aquino, Raul Roco, Loren Legarda, Franklin Drilon, Teofisto Guingona and GMA were crying and hugging each other at the Edsa Shrine. Mabuhay ang Edsa 2! Once again the Filipinos have proven the power of unity.

But your gut instincts were right bro. You knew it was too good to be true and that it would be a matter of time when politics would rear its ugly head. If I could tell you now how things went for the next 5 years you will be amazed.

I won’t give you the details but here are some hints.

A person would make a supreme sacrifice kuno only to make bawi.

GMA will choose a Vice president who will eventually be her antagonist.

One Antri-Estrada senator who cried copiously for committee refusal of opening the envelop eventually sided with Estrada in the 2004 elections.

A movie actor who once said he would never join politics would be a presidential candidate in 04 elections.

On hindsight, a person who could come up with an equation that would predict how politicians would align after a certain period, would be a friggin’ genius. I bet a predictive equation (assuming one can be derived) involving the factors and uncertainties and extraneous variables in politics would far beat the equations of Chaos Theory, Quantum Mechanics and Thermodynamics combined.

Wow am amazed with the unpredictability of politics Go figure bro!

I didn’t realize this letter is already getting long. Anyway I’m really enjoying this.

Know what? I suck. I mean it has been five years since you planned of buying that dream house. My progress so far? Zilch. Nada. Zero . I wish I could send you a winning combination of Lotto or something. And when you win, buy that beachfront property in Taringting you’ve been eyeing since high school.

But then again if you win, that would alter drastically the time- space continuum. The Jodl of 2006 would be a filthy rich millionaire and that means I, a corporate slave, an ordinary aliping saguiguilid would cease to exist (gasp!). No sir, I wish to continue my existence, worthless it may seem, so I guess I will not send you the winning numbers after all.

Remember the 6 degree theory mentioned by Chris Montemanyak ? That one can link to anyone in this planet through a max of 6 connections? Well that was the underlying concept of a revolutionary thing right now called Friendster.. You’ll get to know it in 2004 and it will somehow change your life. Plus there’s this exciting thing called blogging. You’ll love it. Just like the journal emails you’ve been sending from Mindanao. Only this time it’s like writing your journal naked in front of a big audience hehe.

You will get to have your closure in due time. Just be patient. Friendster would be the key to your closure. I know it has been a tough time for you. Finally deciding to give up the teaching job to go back to Manila and pursue your dream …our dream. I can’t guarantee you the ride will be smooth. The withdrawal would really be hard but it’s for the best. Sometimes it’s the pain, the emptiness and the longing that make us whole. ( Naks, ayan nagpakaprofound na naman kuno ako)

Still the romantic fool eh? I mean come on, you threw a message in a bottle right? That’s sooooo 20^th century. It’s the 21^st century already bro. People no longer believe in soul mates or destiny or messages in a bottle. The one person you’re born to love forever? Come on, get real! And you’re already in your 20s. Grow up!

Ok ok. Sorry. I may have sounded harsh. I was only testing your mettle.

Let’s face it. How many guys at your age throw some sappy message in a bottle? Probably one in a thousand. Probably even one in a million. You see, my point exactly. You’re unique. Nah, weird is the more appropriate term.

You’re special… . No kidding. Kumbaga sa child, you’re a special child. hehehe

Kumbaga sa mga birds, you’re a Pithecophaga jefferyi a dying breed.

Kumbaga sa animal kingdom you’re an endangered species. Doomed for extinction.

So you see, the odds are against you. Better change with the changing times. Be more practical. Give it up man. If you want to survive go with the flow. Succumb to the banalities of life. Believe me… it’s liberating.

There now. I was just testing how strong you would hold on to your ideals. You don’t think for one sec I would forsake you, do you? A lot may find your act of throwing that message in a bottle, pathetic if not mawkish, foolish if not weird.

But you know what? I am proud of what you did. Many many years from now I would have a wonderful story to tell my kids.

Yes the world is no longer a romantic place. It is a harsh place for dreamers like you. For dreamers like us. But so long as there are people who see the romance and the possibilities, there is still hope.

Yes I have received your message and the message is clear. There is hope.

Hold your head up young man. I’m proud of you.

Jodl of 2006

P.S. You will be held up in an FX in the year 2002. That’s the closest thing you’ll have for a life-threatening experience. It will make you appreciate life more. I don’t want to alter much the time-space continuum but if you could just save the phone numbers of your 2 unknown text mates in another file it’ll be great. I have forever lost them.

Job Posting, Brain Boosting, Blog Bugging

2006-01-19T22:46:00.000+08:00

1. Just this morning a friend told me that job street sent him a notice of this opening. Small world...It turns out that this was a posting for the job Ijust vacated.. hehe.. Any of you guys interested to handle Lean Manufacturing? Do send me a note I could send you the contact details of HR.

2. Check this out. Multitasking can be detrimental to the quality of your work. ( I wish I could tell this to my boss) Coffee can boost your mental performance (aside from babe watching, that's one more reason to hang out in Starbucks). Grey cells need to work out too just like your body. (reminds me of a Far Side cartoon last Sunday). Go grab a copy of TIME Magazine Jan 23, 2006. Lots of useful articles there on and for the brain.

3. As part of my New Year’s Resolution I shall be updating my blog at least once a week (if only to make sense of my boring life). Sorry if Friendster has this annoying program that sends Blog update notices, inundating your mailboxes. But hey better Friendster notices eating up your space than those pesky chain letters about a kid dying from cancer (shouldn’t that kid be dead by now, that letter was circulating since the 90's), or some religious stuff that makes you feel guilty and eternally damned if you break the chain or some suspicious proposal for fund transfer from Mlukesh Kwebagabu of Uganda.

Now here's a tongue twister. Try saying the title of this entry three time in 5 seconds. Cheers !

Goodbye Wrigley

2006-01-15T23:16:00.000+08:00

Sigh….

Life indeed is a journey.

Last Friday, I capped off a one-and-a-half-year journey in Wrigley. Though short-lived it has been a wonderful and meaningful detour. ( BTW, It was a Friday the 13^th hmmm, it seems that significant moments of my life happen on this day)

I have accepted an exciting offer from my previous company, GE, to take on an expanded role of Environment Health and Safety Manager for 3 locations plus of course the role of a Six Sigma Black Belt

Most of my Wrigley colleagues were still in shock and in denial about my decision. I told them that it had been a tough and painful decision. I too was overwhelmed by the turn of events.

Looking back I could cite at least 2 reasons why I passed by Wrigley. One, maybe God wanted me to be an instrument to link two souls together. I’ve set up a blind date for a Wrigley colleague and a close friend from DPS. The two are now very much in love with each other.

Another, maybe He wanted me to meet two souls who would remind me of an unclosed chapter of my life. I’ve met 2 persons who were former officemates of ‘supposedly THE ONE’. It led me eventually to have my long due closure

At any rate, “Consummatum est”, the journey has come to an end and it’s time for me to move on.

The lines from a song by Jose Mari Chan come to my mind…

We’re on the road.

We move from place to place.

And oftentimes when we’re

About to call it home

We’ve had to move along

Life is a constant change

And nothing stays the same

Oh no…

Message in a (Mineral Water) Bottle

2006-01-04T00:05:00.000+08:00

Five years ago today, I threw a message in a bottle in the sea of Zamboanga on my way to Gen San.

As a kid who grew up beside the sea I had this fascination of casting bottles to the sea. The possibility of my message reaching places far beyond my sight thrilled me so much. I guess five years ago it thrilled me still hence the rather mawkish act. ( I got the idea of sending a note to one’s self from Richard Bach)

Fortunately I had a draft of the message meant for me in my journal. It’s kinda funny reading it now, exactly five years from when it was written. It’s like going back in time and talking to my younger self. I hope I am not betraying my younger self if I posted it here. After all the message is probably meant for me now.

Jan 03, 2001

Dear Jodl,

Hello! In case you have forgotten you sent this letter to yourself in the year 2001. I am writing this letter on board MS Ezekiel Moreno of Negros Navigation. You are taking this trip to Gensan where you will drop off on your way to Dole Philippines School. This is your second year of teaching in that school.

I will put this letter in a plastic bottle ( would have wanted to put this in a wine bottle but none is available). I could think of 3 possible fates of this message. One this message in a bottle would never be found. Two, this message might be found but it would never reach you. Three, this message will be found by someone who will then send this to you. It must be the will of God then that this letter reaches you. ( Hmmm I guess I forgot to include the 4^th scenario, saving a draft of the message and reading it again a few years after hehe)

I don’t know why I’m sending this letter. Maybe it’s my way of assuring that I have hope for the future. I just wish that wherever you are right now you have achieved whatever your heart desired. Right now I might be at the crossroads of my life. I still have that dream of building a house beside the sea. I still dream of that magical moment when I’ll get to meet my soul mate. Have you found her already? How I wish things could be the other way around, that you are the one sending this message to me assuring me that things are going to be fine.

I hope you are happy where you are. I feel like succumbing now to the banalities of life. But I guess if you are happy, then I have made the right decisions. I am longing for that moment when I would finally become you.

Wherever you are don’t forget that you were once me. I’m at a loss right now. I hope that when you receive this letter you would already have found yourself.

Bon voyage. Enjoy this journey called life.

All the best,

Jodl of year 2001

The last sunset of the year

2005-12-31T14:19:00.000+08:00

There’s something about the last day of the year that makes me nostalgic. It’s the last leg of yet another year of the journey.

Since 1999 I have an annual ritual of going to the beach here in Antique and watching the last sunset of the year.

Over a bottle of Super Dry and a plate of French fries or kinilaw, I would gaze in awe at the sun making its final touchdown for the year.

A celebration of a journey’s end.

There’s something so enthralling about the scene that sets me in the mood for recollection, for contemplation, for discernment.

And I go home recharged knowing that tomorrow the sunrise of a new year comes.

Closure

2005-12-15T22:20:00.000+08:00

"You're Beautiful" by James Blunt

My life is brilliant.

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.

After six years of running away, I finally got to meet her.

She was a girl with an enigmatic smile. The one who made my life meaningful. Yet caused so much pain.

We had been classmates together. She glided through our Math classroom one June afternoon. Never did I realize she would snatch my heart one day. We would walk together after class. She would tell her silly stories. I would tell mine.

She became my seatmate the following sem. And on a fateful November afternoon I saw her in a different light. There before my eyes I saw my destiny. She was the one.

She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

But how can a goddess love a mortal? And so I took my time to prove my worth.

After college we worked in different companies. We would occasionally exchange emails. I did let her know about my feelings once but she was emotionally unavailable. She never knew how deep my feelings were.

I never lost hope. I was busy planning and building for our future. A year later, when I laid down my cards it was already too late. She was getting married.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

I did not attend her wedding. I couldn’t bear to see my dream crumbling before my eyes. I ran away. I kept thinking that in time the pain would go away.

And so I stayed for years over the mountains.

Far from the city. Far from the pain. Far from reality.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flying high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

And slowly she became a remnant of the past- a past that has slowly drifted away.

Occasionally she would surface in my dreams, in my intoxication, in my solitude.

I moved back to the city after three years. It took another three years before I got news about her.

I had to see her if only to close a chapter and move on.
As fate would have it. I got to meet her at the same place where I had seen her last.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

We talked like old friends catching up with each other's lives.
She’s still beautiful. It all made sense why I fell in love all those years.

But now it’s time to move on.

I have embraced the truth.

And though painful …….the truth is liberating.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Things to do before you turn thirty (part 2)

2005-12-07T21:59:00.000+08:00

5. STAY IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS

Staying in touch with the family in the Philippine setting is easy because of strong family ties.

With friends however staying in touch requires a lot of effort and good time management. With so many changes happening and gazillion of things to do, days could easily slip into weeks, months and then years. And before we know it we have grown apart from our high school and college friends and former co-workers, the people whom once we’ve promised to be there for each other, listen to each other's hang-ups, and make the journey bearable.

Friends are our link to the past. They remind us how great and slim and gorgeous we were back then. They remind us how promising, idealistic and passionate we were once. They remind us of our human frailties and inadequacies yet provide the needed pat and push to face the seemingly insurmountable and go on fulfilling our dreams

Sure there’s SMS, email, even friendster to always keep them in the loop but it’s best to meet up with friends at least once a year. Celebrate life over a cup of coffee or a bottle of beer. Laugh with them, cry maybe and catch up with each others’ lives.

6. WRITE A JOURNAL

In the same context writing a journal provides a linkage to the past. What’s on your mind? Write it down. It might seem raw and obvious to you now- your thoughts, aspirations, angst, emotions. But a few years from now when you read back you might feel half-amused and half-enlightened understanding the person behind the writing.

Writing a journal achieves three things. One, it has a therapeutic effect. Just the fact that you are verbalizing it (however incomprehensible and indescribable that IT may be) somehow eases the pain, the emptiness, or whatever stress you’re bearing.

Two it makes you know more about yourself. There is truth in the saying it is a stranger you see in the mirror. Writing it down helps you examine yourself from a different perspective. It may even help you clarify your values (see item 2). As the saying goes, A life unreflected is a life half-lived

Three, it is your response that you refuse to be eaten up by the edacious time, your life statement that you may grow old but you won’t be forgotten. When you reach 30, your journal will provide a glimpse of the past (that won’t ever come back) and will be your most indispensable evidence that you’ve lived through the stormy facing-the-real-world twenties.

007. HAVE A TASTE OF THE SUBLIME

I can’t recall where I got this term. But “having a taste of the sublime” refers to acknowledging that there is far more to the world than material wealth.

Twenties is the time where we make a quantum leap financially- from the measly college allowance to a regular yuppie monthly salary. I felt this change personally, I spent my college days scrimping on every peso as I had only to subsist on my DOST scholarship and the part-time tutorial job I took. (Looking back it amazes me how I was able to make it through with barely 1500/month)

My first job was with a personal care manufacturing company. Our products- shampoos, toothpastes, deodorants- meant to raise the quality of lives of people. Our company thrived on creating insecurities and needs among the consumers. (Hey buy this shampoo, your hair will glow magnificently and your crush would probably dump her girlfriend and take you out instead. Buy now before it’s too late. Available in 4 variants, in sachets and 200 ml bottles. Oh you want might want a conditioner to go with this…)

The pay was good. My lifestyle changed. I’ve been to the bars and restaurants I’ve never hung out in college. But once in a while during Friday night gimmicks I used to feel a strange sense of emptiness. I thought this would be filled by material success and in time would pass away, but it didn’t

And then I serendipitously found a job opening for a teacher down south. I took a leap of faith and ventured down. For some it had been a foolish decision.

There was a cut in my salary. But the joy that I felt teaching the kids and having a hand in molding their values was utterly priceless. There is a different kind of high knowing you were making a difference in their lives. For the first time it felt great and rewarding doing something and it was not for the money.

It was supposed to a one-year hiatus from the corporate jungle. I immensely enjoyed it, I even stayed for one more. (Hey Justin, if you’re reading this blog, this is my answer to the question you’ve posed a few years back in the Physics class)

As I look back, I feel proud that I made that journey and had a taste of the sublime.

8. MOVE ON

Entering the thirties is now about accountability with a big A. One could have all the pretty lame excuses for ending up in a miserable situation. One would look cute, even adorable, crying their hearts out and sporting a look that shouts “the whole world doesn’t care about me”, while chugging barrels of alcohol on a Friday night. One could be forgiven for spending nine years in college, for bumming around and feeding like a parasite on parents allowance or for moving from one bad relationship to another - when one is in his twenties.

But once 30, one should start taking some responsibilities in his actions and get rid of all the excuses and start living a life.

So your girlfriend exchanged you for a lesbian lover. Big deal. Your boss passed off your promotion to an ass-licking low IQ colleague. Who cares? You mom did not breastfeed you. So bloody what? At one point or another, one has got to face the music and stop blaming his situation from the past. Thirty just seems to be the right age to do that.

Each of us has his own share of heartaches, of tribulations, of tragedies, of disappointments. Cry if must. Wallow in your tears. But after that, get up, and move on.

***

Well I guess there goes my list. As I’ve said take it, for whatever it’s worth. May you find it useful. I’m not saying I have spent my twenties perfectly, I‘ve had my share of regrets too but as I’ve said it’s time to move on.

I was supposed to add one more. EMBRACE THE UNKNOWN. But I guess you’ve heard this one already. And I think one should continually take risks and embrace the unknown even beyond his thirties…

As Mark Twain aptly puts it…

“Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Things to do before you turn thirty

2005-12-01T20:57:00.000+08:00

THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU TURN 30

Turning 30 is scary. If recent statistics are true – particularly the one claiming an average male has a life span of 60 - one should technically be having mid-life crisis already at the age of 30.

Wait….Did I hear that right? Do you mean I’m HALFWAY through already? What the crap are you talking about? I haven’t even traveled to Spain nor witnessed an annular eclipse in a Caribbean cruise. Haven’t released my best-selling novel yet nor met the woman of my dreams who would do Swedish massage and make love to me all night and give me babies and…. Okay, okay I’m snapping out of it.

Now where was I? Oh yes turning 30. Forgive me. Just the thought of hitting the big 3 sends shivers down my spine. What is overwhelming is that I’m entering a new phase of my life, a phase where acting immature moving forward is no longer cute nor acceptable- aside from the fact that I’m a step closer in meeting Joe Black.

I wish I could turn back time and relive my youth. Ah… but then it’s time to move on. But before I do, I would like to write down a list of things one should do before hitting 30. Take it for whatever it’s worth. My personal list is not meant to be encompassing, am just throwing some ideas for you to consider. If you’re not yet 30 good for you…

THINGS TO DO BEFORE HITTING THE BIG 3.

1. TRAVEL

There’s a whole world waiting outside. Get out there. Sure this would drain your funds, but the wisdom that you’ll gain from the experience is priceless.

Traveling to a new and strange place changes your perspective and makes you more enlightened. You’ll become more appreciative when you realize there are special things back home you’ve taken for granted. You’ll become humbler knowing that the world is not always about you and that there’s far, far more to the world than your small town.

Through traveling you would mostly get the funny and interesting stories you are going to tell your grandchildren someday.

Do it before you turn 30 while you still have money to spare and fewer commitments to think about.

2. FIND YOUR CORE VALUES

The twenties would be the time to experiment on new jobs and promising ventures. Most often we move from one thing to another searching for whatever we thought we were searching for. But oftentimes we end up more confused and restless and unhappy.

I’ve been through different jobs and done some rather irrational decisions. But on hindsight, all my decisions made sense when I saw the underlying values that guided them.

Finding your core values makes you more decisive and focused when faced with paralyzing options. It makes you aligned with your long-term goals.

Have you identified yours already? To do this you would really need a time out, probably a weekend off or maybe even longer. For me it took about two years away from the urban jungle to list down my values.

Take a break and ask yourself some introspecting questions- What drives you? What oils your gears? Is it Independence? Power? Wealth? Creativity?, Adventure ? Love for country? Etc…List them down- you’ll sometimes be surprised with the answers- and let these values guide you.

3. FULFILL A CHILDHOOD DREAM

Before the age of 10 we felt we were invincible and the world was our playground, full of possibilities. We dreamt and dreamt. Some dreams were downright simple, others purely outrageous.

By the time we reach 20, we have succumbed to the banalities of life and learned to compromise and let go of some our dreams.

Yet I always believe there is still that child in us that would delight in fulfilling a dream. Recall one and do it - no matter how silly or outrageous - just to keep our promise to that child in us. (And then we can officially move on to be adults.)

When I was a kid I used to watch boats on the way to Manila disappearing on the far end of a beach in my hometown. Two coconut trees marked that bend and for my six-year old mind that was the point where I should go one day when I’m old and strong enough. I dreamt of going to that place, despite the distance, if only to get a glimpse of the paradise that was Manila..

When I was in college I had the opportunity to return to the beach and stand at the same spot looking at the same bend. I could swear the same coconut trees were there beckoning me. I had the foreknowledge already that the glimpse from that place was not the way I fantasized it to be. I decided to walk the distance. It seemed foolish. Yet it was my way of telling the little boy inside me that I haven’t failed him.

4. DO YOUR OWN SHARE

We always complain about the world being a miserable place. But hey let’s face it. This is the best that we’ve got and it’s not going to get any better if we just sit there and grumble.

In college I had this bout of Messianic Complex – wanting to save the world and all - but I got overwhelmed with the extent of misery and suffering happening around us; it led me to depression.

Then I came to realize (thanks to the wisdom of Albert Schweitzer) that though we may not comprehend the world’s problems in its entirety, it should not stop us from doing our own share.

I always believe that we can in our own little way do something to make this world a better place- at least a lot better than what was given to us.

Do volunteer work for a time. Be active in an environmental group. Take a job that may not pay well but touches the lives of others.

There are lots of ways to do your own share. Have you done yours?

(to be continued)

Tawi Tawi Tales

2005-10-23T19:24:00.000+08:00

TAWI TAWI TALES – PART 1

Last night, I and my friends from UP Astronomical Society celebrated the 10^th year anniversary of our trip to Tawi Tawi.

Ten years ago, we went against all odds to go south to witness a total solar eclipse -a phenomenon that would not happen again in the country till 2027.

The year was 1995. Ramos was halfway through his term. Gloria Macapagal Arroyo topped the senate race that May, breaking previous records. Channel 5’s Tropang Trumpo was the number 1 gag show, triggering GMA 7 to pirate Ogie and Michael V to form the Bubble Gang. Reigning queen Rossanna Roces, and boobsy challenger Amanda Page, were the sought-after TF stars- their movies Basa sa Dagat and Gayuma pitted against each other.

We at that time were wide-eyed, idealistic, impatient students of UP Diliman, living on a measly student allowance, dealing with egoistical, sadistic and prurient professors, spending the free time watching the stars in the tambayan (one of the brilliant ways to chill out - nada cash outlay)

Our four-year old organization was running low on funds. The members whose main competencies were along the line of star hunting and cataloguing heavenly bodies never knew how to package the Solar Eclipse as a lucrative event. We did not have the marketing pizzazz to convince, cajole or coerce the filthy rich would-be sponsors– they simply found the idea of watching the moon blocking the sun as neither glamorous nor investment-worthy.

We were so desperate we even decided to join the Game Show “Ready Get Set Go”. But we failed to make it in the screening process. The producer probably decided that a bunch of bespectacled, stiff, star-crazed “nerdaks” could plummet the show to un-cool depths.

In the end, the 12 Tawitawi hopefuls who yearned to go had to do each one’s personal solicitation. It was a huge sacrifice on my part as I had to really cut down on my expenses –for a typical Isko student, this meant the usual Aristocart meal instead of the Jollibee ChickenJoy- to collect an amount close to 2 thousand pesos.

If money generation was tough, the travel down there was hell.

In order to fit our budget we had to take the Air Force C-130 flight to Mindanao. Getting booked was rather tricky; a process involving repeated calling and begging, even name-dropping to give us some slots. The C-130 is a military cargo plane and ideal hitching vehicle for the cash-strapped and the clueless. One simply had to endure standing amidst the haphazardly stacked irregularly-shaped cargoes- like playing the Human Twister game in a warm humid room several thousand feet above the ground. It was far worse than ROTC; in ROTC you stand erect under the sun but could shift your weight to loosen those stiff muscles, in the C 130 flight you would have to wait for the stop-over to rearrange your awkward position and redistribute the blood circulation to blood-starved areas. (on hindsight the tasks done in the Extra Challenge and Amazing Race seemed anemic)

After a 2-hour grueling ride, 2 stopovers and several muscle cramps later, we dropped off at Zamboanga. Like the horror movies, this one had a sequel. The boat we took to Tawi Tawi didn’t have any shower –and the trip would be for two nights!!!. We were awfully sticky from sweat, dust, salt spray and grime spread all over our body; our pores were clogged up and gasping for breath. We couldn’t drown the thoughts of discomfort by sleeping it over; our skin was uncomfortably sticking to our bunk. Thank goodness for cotton, Eskinol and Rubbing alcohol, this was the closest thing we could have for a bath.

No shower, I could probably take. But seeing other passengers spitting anywhere on the ship floor is another. For the lack of an apt word it’s totally - Eewww.!!! To avoid stepping on these mucous landmines I spent almost the entire trip lying on my bunk.

(to be continued)

Cuando era pequeno (When I was small)

2005-10-11T21:31:00.000+08:00

For the Preterito Imperfecto lesson in my Spanish class our professor told us to write a Spanish essay entitled “Cuando Era Puequeno”.

The Spanish language has two types of past tenses, one type (Indefinido) is used to depict an action that progresses the story whereas the other type (Imperfecto) is used to describe circumstances or a habitual action in the past.

Anyway, I’m posting the essay I submitted. Since I’m still at the elementary level this work would probably be teeming with grammatical errors. Corrections are very much welcome.

I’m translating some of the Spanish lines I liked best.

CUANDO ERA PEQUENO

Cuando era pequeño el mundo era un lugar maravilloso para vivir. La vida era simple. El aire era limpio. La agua era centelleante hermosa. (When I was small the world was a wonderful place to live in. Life was simple. The air was clean. The water was sparklingly beautiful.)

Cuando era pequeño las montañas verdes en el este y el mar ancho en el oeste me guardaba bien. Nos separaban del resto del mundo. Las noticias viajaban muy lento. Nuestra solamente conexión con el mundo era nuestra tele en negro y blanco.

El tiempo en nuestro propio paraíso se movia en su propio paso. Ningunos plazos. Ningún se preocupa. Ningunas presiones. (Time in our own paradise moved at its own pace. No deadlines. No worries. No pressures)

Cuando era pequeño pensaba que el cielo de la noche era una manta grande que se envuelve alrededor de nosotros con millones de luciérnagas pegadas en él. (When I was small I used to think that the night sky was a big blanket that wrapped around us with millions of fireflies stuck on it.) Miraba los barcos en el horizonte, tenia miedo que puede ser que caigan del borde. Me preguntaba sobre la gente lejos apagado de lugares más allá del alcance de mi vista.

Cuando era pequeño, yo y mis amigos de la vecindad pasabamos los fines de semana que mirabamos puestas del sol y que caminabamos por la playa. Durante verano subíamos las colinas cerca. Cogíamos libélulas, escarabajos y saltamontes. (We used to catch dragonflies, beetles and grasshoppers.) Vadearíamos en el río y enterraríamos cápsulas del tiempo.

Cuando era pequeño nuestros tesoros eran simples - las cápsulas de aluminio que se puede volver a sellar, envolturas raras del cigarrillo, mecanismos rotatorios de los metros eléctricos, bolas de las botellas del desodorisante. (When I was small our treasures were simple –aluminum resealable bottle caps, rare cigarette wrappers, rotary mechanisms of electric meters, balls of deodorant bottles.)

Cuando era pequeño, Navidad no era costosa. (When I was small, Christmas was not expensive.) Íbamos a las masas tempranas en el amanecer que gozaban de la brisa fresca de diciembre. Hacíamos árboles de Navidad de los ramas secados recolectados en nuestra huerta. Colgábamos las envolturas plásticas con agua coloreada, en árboles de Navidad. Pasábamos la víspera de Navidad con un Noche Buena simple.

Cuando era pequeño, la vida era simple…. pero la vida era perfecta. (When I was small life was simple…. yet life was perfect.)

Pinoy in China 2

2005-10-09T21:56:00.000+08:00

Every time I go to China I couldn’t help but feel insecure. Out there, a billion people go on with their routines without even the slightest idea that my world here - the world as I came to know it- ever existed.

The very things woven into the fabric of my daily life – peso devaluation, monsoon rains, Simbang Gabi, Hello Garci ring tones, Friday night traffic, ChickenJoy- they are all unknown and meaningless in that part of the globe. The very things that define my reality, things that revolve around my universe- they have all been reduced to nothingness. Out there, my world and I are non-existent.

Nothing can be more unsettling. How can it be that the only world as I’ve come to know is not what it is?

Nothing can be more humbling. How can I be the center of the universe when out there I am nothing but a mere scrap of creation?

Despite this sense of vulnerability, I realized that there are things I have taken for granted.

No matter how insignificant to the eyes of others, my own world, along with all its aspects - the mundane and the magical, the banal and the beguiling, the excruciating and the exhilarating, - is what makes my existence real.

Suddenly the thought of the never-ending political bickering, the horrendous Midnight sale traffic, the incessant fuel price increase, even the alligators in the congress couldn’t stop me from yearning to go home.

Pinoy in China

2005-09-26T22:16:00.000+08:00

Two weeks ago I flew to China to attend our annual Lean Conference. I didn’t have much time to roam around as I spent my weekend finishing my presentation. Having my finicky boss around wasn’t much of help, as I had to do several revisions just to suit her unpredictable taste.

I missed the 1^st eviction night of Pinoy Big Brother. Hell, I’ve even missed the fight of Pacquiao. Darn how could I have missed that! Actually, I really couldn’t qualify it as missing the match because I never even knew that Pacquiao had a scheduled fight that weekend. Goes to show that my work-life balance has already gone awry, I being unaware of the outside world.

If it’s any consolation I did get to squeeze in a bit of time for myself in China. Had a great time visiting the bars of Gunagzhou and Shanghai. Filipinos are well known there for being excellent band performers. (My former colleagues in GE China thought all Filipinos were good singers. I have proven them wrong when after their incessant prodding, I rendered a rather blood-curdling and hair-raising version of Hotel California in a karaoke session)

I fooled a Pinay singer in the bar of my hotel in Guangzhou. She thought I was Chinese. Naturally she was jubilant when I spoke to her in Tagalog. I’ve met other Pinoys also lounging in the bar. They were sailors who were docked for the week in China. We sat together around a table (the band members later joined us after their show). For that night we felt like old friends talking about our beloved country.

It’s refreshing to know that while discord seems to be the way of life here, out there when Pinoy strangers meet each other they feel a sense of oneness, of being at home.

More of the saga next time. Here’s a snapshot of the colossal Yangpu bridge in Shanghai.

Toilet paper life

2005-09-05T20:43:00.000+08:00

Life is like a roll of toilet paper - the nearer you are at the end the faster it goes.

I probably saw this quote, on some CR graffiti in my college dorm.

Well stated analogy and despite its perturbing implications it speaks of undeniable truth and impeccable wisdom.

Time moved at an excruciatingly slow pace when I was young. This most likely because the town where I grew up was very laid back, detached from the hustle and bustle of city life. Mountains loomed on the east, shorelines sprawled on the west - we were safely secluded from the rest of the world and within my world, time moved at its own unhurried pace.

The days seemed to move soooooo slow. A whole year felt like forever. A million sunsets had to happen before my next birthday.

I had wanted to move things fast forward, to mature in haste and discover what wonders lie beyond the horizons. Growing old - it then meant freedom, independence, adventure - was something I had looked forward to.

Alas! such folly of childhood; too young to comprehend its wonder, its sheer magic, its immense beauty. Wasn’t there a saying that goes“ We never get to appreciate the importance of something till we lose it”?

Now that I am old, everything moves like a blur. Weeks, months and years rush by determinedly, no slowing down, no going back.

One just feels helpless to the edacious time. You want to stop it or even to slow it just a bit, cling on to the past as if your whole existence rests on it.

But the more you hang on to the past, the faster it slips away. We are dragged inexorably, hurriedly toward our predestined end. Fight as we may, we don’t get to win.

And probably the only thing that we could do is accept the inevitability, of course never grieving about what was lost, but making the most of what is left.

Miracle on a Friday the 13th

2005-08-14T13:13:00.000+08:00

Six years ago, this date, August 13, fell on a Friday – yep your regular, much dreaded Friday the 13^th,, an unlucky day that has spawned many horror movies and unfounded fears.

I know of people who had unfortunate experiences to associate with this day. Why, just 3 months ago, a coworker while cruising through the NLEX, had an accident on a rain-drenched Friday the 13^th. He survived the collision with a broken neck; his car though was a total wreck.

Despite its sense of foreboding, miracles have happened for me on Friday the 13ths. I recall at least 3 dates which had been memorable moments in my life.

On a Friday the 13^th in 1992, I felt the full blast of the magic called love.
On a Friday the 13^th in 2001, I reached the peak of Mount Matutum – a long-sought dream.
And 6 years ago, a Friday the 13^th , I had a meteor shower of a lifetime.

The year was 1999; I was a Science Grade 7 teacher then. I was on my third month of teaching the kids who were all enthusiastic to discover life’s mysteries through science. That Friday night, I organized an overnight stargazing session.

August 13^th marked an annual astronomical event – the Perseids Meteor Shower. I explained to the kids that on a normal night one could see a handful of sporadic “shooting stars”. But occasionally the earth, during its annual journey around the sun, passes through a region in space with high concentration of dust particles. Such instances are a feast for sky watchers; the particles entering the atmosphere provide a spectacular and abundant display of nature’s fireworks.

I had looked forward to the event because my first experience of a meteor-shower observation in college had been an intimate and liberating one. Vicariously feeling the child-like wonder and amazement in my students I knew that if only the skies would cooperate they were in for in a marvelous treat, a rare experience that would anchor in their childhood memories.

If only the skies would cooperate and that had been the big if. Perseids Meteor Shower Observations had always been a tricky battle with Mother Nature. August skies are almost always overcast.

That morning did not provide any glimmer of hope. Ominous black clouds hovered above us. Neither was the official weather news encouraging. Even my horoscope for that day was not cooperative (okay okay I sometimes check out the horoscope for a sense of validation). On hindsight it did seem that all odds were against us.

I knew that all I could do was just hope. I prayed to God for a clear sky (I recall praying the rosary the night before, an act I rarely do). The prayer was not for me, it was for the kids. How would they handle the disappointment? How would they handle the brutal blow to their anticipation ?

And so it happened. On the night of August 13 in 1999, a Friday the 13^th, there had been a heavy downpour in the villages sorrounding Mt Matutum (as we’ve learned the morning after). The sky unloaded its watery weight and flooded the villages with its wrath.

On the foot of the mountain where the school is located, the scenario was entirely different, oblivious to the storm occurring in the nearby areas. The clouds had parted ways- as if an answer to my prayers- providing us a magnificent view of the clear imposing sky, teeming with stars.

We lay down there on the school field watching in awe and admiration as the awaited shooting stars zoomed intermittently in front of us. The kids screamed and shrilled at each find as if a treasure, their eyes glued to the sky lest they miss the next spectacle. Amidst their oohs and aahs I offered a prayer of thanks.

From the countless stories jubilantly told and retold in the days that ensued I knew it had been an experience they would cherish.

It has been six years since and yet I could still feel the exhilaration. I could still hear the echoes of their screams. I could still see the awe and excitement on their faces.

I could still fondly recall the miracle that happened 6 years ago on a Friday the 13^th.

De Puta Madre !

2005-08-14T13:02:00.000+08:00

My week was a blast! I received a handful of unexpected yet very much welcomed emails from my friends all over the cyberspace. I got an excellent rating in my weekend Spanish class oral exams. I finally got to finish Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and the Season 5 of CSI Vegas. And I finally got 3 consecutive strikes (no easy feat considering I came from dismal scores below 100) in our company bowling tournament – thereby entitling me for a free half-chicken.

For the lack of a more potent description I should say my week was “DE PUTA MADRE!”

Okay, okay before you squirm let me tell you that this phrase is tame, albeit vulgar-sounding. “De puta madre” according to my Spanish professor in context means “Superb!, Marvelous! or Fantastic! It’s synonymous yet more attention-grabbing than “Estupendo”

Just don’t forget to include “De”. Otherwise what you would be saying would literally mean “mother wh*re”

So the next time somebody asks you how things are on a terrific day, say it with chutzpah, “De puta madre !”

Click moments

2005-08-07T20:32:00.000+08:00

Rina Jimenez David, a resource speaker in one of my MA Psych classes referred to such as “Click Moments”.

It could be an instance of enlightenment when a piece of heretofore-unknown information presents – oftentimes accidentally- in front of you. Suddenly your perspective changes with this new bit of the jigsaw puzzle. It’s like the Eureka of Archimedes. It’s the light bulb flashing scene for the detective in a whodunit. It’s the A-ha moment.

Click moments may provide clarity, closure and synthesis. However in some instances it could provide ambiguity and reexamination to what you’ve long embraced as absolute truths. Like the result of the Michelson-Morreley experiment for the speed of light which dumbfounded the scientists who were then espousing the Newtonian perspective of the universe.

Probably the most disturbing click moment I remember was the one I had in Shanghai. I was on a weekend tour to Wuxi to visit a GE site. Seated beside me on the coach was an EHS engineer from our Shanghai Innovation site. We exchanged ideas and experiences. Then came the casual mention that he does not have a God. I could not brand him an atheist for there is no conscious refusal on his part to accept the existence of a God. It just so happened that he grew up in an environment that never considered the existence of a Supreme Being.

And then I it dawned on me that he along with 1 other billion people have gone on with their daily routine without a God.

It deeply perturbed me. The acknowledgement of a Force much greater than us might not be an inherent human behavior after all.

Could it be possible then that this God is just a concept we’ve created (at least for some cultures) so that we would feel more secure? Could it be that we created this unfathomable and omnipotent Being so that we would feel less lonely? So that we would find meaning and significance? So that we would have something to hope for when we all die?

Blog Blooper

2005-08-07T11:58:00.000+08:00

Never underestimate the immense power of the internet. All the while I thought my online dream journal was just within my radar screen. Twas supposed to be just a cauldron of my vivid, oftentimes incomprehensible dreams; the concoction not yet ready for public consumption

However for some utterly unforgivable stupidity on my part I have forgotten to click the right settings when I hastily joined the republika ng pilipinas group blog. And so not until Saturday night when John and Ria mentioned about it did I realize that my dream journal was up for grabs.

Aaargh….At least as a consolation I haven’t typed in the relatively controversial dream entries.

Oh well that ONLINE 101’s lesson learned the hard way…

Of mailboxes and life's questions

2005-07-31T19:36:00.000+08:00

It was my usual Sunday afternoon cocooning and having purchased a three-day unlimited Internet access, I had the luxury to wade through the clutter of emails in my Lycos mail box.

Between deleting a series of junk mails (mostly about penis enlargements, mail-order brides and viagra) and contemplating whether to lump up certain group of friends unto one folder, my eyes got caught on an inconspicuous farewell message I sent 3 years ago to my Dole Asia Colleagues.

A barrage of emotions swept me upon opening the letter and suddenly I was transported back to that time when I made the note.

It was a message of thanks to the people to who have made my serendipitous journey enlightening and memorable.

It was also a message of loss, of letting go, of acceptance of the inevitable pain that accompanies parting of ways.

And yet it was also a message of hope that despite the time and distance there is the comfort of the thought that someday our paths could cross again.

It has been three years since I left Mindanao, a place that has been my solace when I ran away from Manila to heal some wounds and contemplate upon life.

Although I came back more enlightened I still had a lot of unanswered questions.
I grew contented with the fact that while some questions will be answered life will continue to give more questions.

In the proper time and the proper place it will all fit in together like one big jigsaw puzzle.
One simply has to have hope that things in the greater scheme eventually would turn out fine.

Meanwhile life goes on…

The Astro Factor

2005-07-24T22:48:00.000+08:00

Last night my buddies from UP Astrosoc had a get together. It still amazes me to think that Astrosoc has endured through time and distance. In terms of bonding I think it has gone far better than the other orgs I have joined or most of the fraternities I know of.

So what was it? What is the Astro factor that made that uncommon bond, a bond that makes us talk the same stuff over and over again every time we meet (and yet never seemed to get tired of it)

Astro probably provided solace for each unique individual. It was a place where one can just be one’s self and not fear being labeled weird or different. It was a group where athletic mountaineers coexisted with introverted bookworms. It was a group where electrecution-thrill-seekers blended well with role-playing-game fanatics. It was group that never raised eyebrows to a twenty-old year old who still plays GI Joes, or to a lady who refuses to give her birth date or to a lass who shaves her hair for the heck of it.

It was and still is a group that thrives on differences and eccentricities.

Yet despite the range of idiosyncrasies we realized we are the same.

We go to the abandoned and desolate hill on a Friday night to look up at the wide expanse.

We leave behind our thoughts on a make-or-break exam, or the fast-approaching thesis deadline, or the looming MRR at the end of the term.

We take part in the continuing saga of creation that unfolds in front of us.

For that brief respite we forget our hang-ups, our broken hearts, our fears, we all become innocent kids once again basking at the overwhelming creation that surrounds us.

We all find the searchers and the poets in us as we navigate through the skies. We become one.

And after that celestial journey we go down the hill and back into each of our own lives. We deal once again with the usual banalities that grind us down.

And yet we feel a spark of hope and a sense of longing. We have the energy to go through the week because come Friday night we once again come home.

There's the catch

2005-06-20T21:46:00.000+08:00

I've been had.... Now I know the catch behind the friendster blog. You need to pay a premium to have your former posts archived. Grrr...Oh well too late for pulling out. I guess that means back to this reliable blogspot.

Voyeurism

2005-05-02T00:33:00.000+08:00

I am a late-bloomer when it comes to blogging. A lot of my friends have been using this medium for 2 years already. I just started this year. Even my entry to friendster pathetically was a year late... And life has somehow been a roller coaster ever since. I got in touch with people from my childhood to college days. There is something about blogging that appeals to the exhibitionism in each of us as well as voyeurism. We mindlessly surf through the net and through random taps on the keyboard we serendipitously end up on the webpage of a person whom we would unconsciously start stalking hehe...
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Orphaned

2005-04-09T22:07:00.000+08:00

This sounds a bit too late... but then as saying goes better late than never... I felt like an orphan with the death of Pope John Paul II. I feel guilty because I haven't offered a rosary for him. I dedicated my prayer that night for the health of my new-born nephew. As it turned out my nephew has recovered. And the Pope has finally succumbed to his sickness. Though I weep I feel a sense of happiness knowing that he has served well according to God's plan and is now reaping the rewards of eternal life... Alas he has shown us that this worldly life is just a passage and the time will come when we will be meeting our creator.

The gods came down

2005-03-28T21:08:00.000+08:00

And so it was... The day came when the gods from the Wrigley Chicago building came upon to visit us mere mortals. I was so overwhelmed by the presence of Bill Wrigley, one of the world's top billionaires, our CEO, the guy who can cut our lifeline with just a snap of his fingers. His visit was just brief but his presence still lingered even when he has already left the hallways of our plant. I wonder what goes under his balding head, knowing the enormous power that he has. What is left for him to desire? Is it true that even though how rich you are the lust for money is still unsatiable?

A brutal blow

2005-03-20T22:03:00.000+08:00

The world has come to a grinding halt when I heard of Pacquiao’s stunning loss. Though on hindsight I should have realized that there’s a 50% chance of losing I was not quite prepared for it. Neither I think are my fellow countrymen who were glued to the TV in the early afternoon, hoping that Manny brings home the crown. Knowing that’s it’s already a delayed telecast I had to get the news from the Internet. And so while the first round is being held on TV I knew about the results and had to turn the TV off.
Darn another brutal blow…but hey I guess that’s life… Sometimes we wallow in defeat but that makes more the taste of success even sweeter…. And that I think something to aspire for in the next round.. After all life always gives you another chance..

Trivia

2005-03-15T22:08:00.000+08:00

Just today I learned about a woman CEO of HP who has just been fired for not delivering to the promise brought about by her acquisition.

That a genius knows only about 3500 words from the average guy.

That Sydney Sheldon got first hold of his bestseller way passed his heyday... There is hope.

Existence...

2005-03-06T20:24:00.000+08:00

Since birth we drowned ourselves by the daily humdrum of activities and became myopic of our own world. There are lots of new worlds out there beating at their own rhythms. The fact that you are oblivious of their existence doesn’t deny the fact that they exist.

You lumber on, you immerse yourself with your own problems, your universe revolving solely around you until one fateful day you jolt up from the deadening stupor and realize that your existence has been insignificant compared to the heretofore vast world that lies before you.

You feel lost, scared and insecure. How can your world be when a million others out there never even realized its existence? You feel an overwhelming sense of humility. You gradually accept that you are no longer the center of your universe. You slowly acknowledge that you are part of something greater than yourself, of being connected with the unfathomable. And the search for your purpose, for the meaning of your existence has just begun…

Contact

2005-02-23T22:07:00.000+08:00

Finally after several years of silence I finally got in touch with her... It has been a long while. Things have changed. What once was a vivacious sultry goddess has turned into a pragmatic homemaker. Am I now seeing the light of dead stars?

Change

2005-02-15T22:50:00.000+08:00

Ah... the only constant thing in this world... Sigh... I wish we could could slow down things a bit. I'm back in the urnban jungle for the past three years . The days go by where people are rushing on inexorably to something ... Something which they may not even discern what or where...

Do they really know where they're going to. Ordo they march on with the beat of crowd..Where to ? If only things coud take the pace of the steady rhythm of nature. If only we could stop and step back a bit and look for one moment at the big picture.... Sigh Too much change can be disastrous..

From the far side of the world

2005-02-09T21:38:00.000+08:00

Isn't it amazing how you go on with your seemingly hopeless life in this far corner of the world, thinking this is all that it is when just a few miles away or maybe a bunch of clicks of the keyboard you realize a whole new world is moving at its pace. You are oblivious to it until now like your on the Matrix or you're like Jim Carrey in the Truman show. And suddenly the ocean of truth gapes at you and you suddenly feel so lost and overwhelmed...

What drives you

2005-02-07T21:25:00.000+08:00

An accidental click on the remote button has eventually made me end up on the PC searching for the background of the people in the show Apprentice.... Whew I really admire the intensity and the passion of the people featured in the show... Which makes me wonder...wow...how do these people manage all the pressures ? what would it take them to be the apprentice ?

Cybersearch

2005-02-01T21:58:00.000+08:00

So here I am, thirty years of crappy stay on earth still tapping the night away with my PC hoping that somewhere somehow in the vast cyberspace a kindred soul gets to receive this call for help.
At times like these I just wish I could go back in time... when things were pretty much simple. As a boy my world only consisted of my small town cut off from the rest of the world by the looming mountains on the east and the blue sea on the west.
Things were pretty much simple back then... No deadlines.. no worries... no moody bosses to deal with. Not even cold equations of the universe to ponder upon. Life goes on smoothly and calmly like the ebbing of the tide and the setting of the sun. If and that is the big if things could just go back to where it used to be.
But the shuddering truth ...it just doesnt work that way...Things have to change. Sandcastles crumble..hope fades...leaves wither away...innocence is shattered and all we can do is watch helplessly as we march inexorably oftentimes unconsciously towards our doom.

Welcome!

2004-08-31T12:08:00.000+08:00

Carpe Diem Folks !

Just got caught up with the Blog fever... I wish I encounered the wonderful world of blogging when I was in GenSan. At any rate there just might be hope of posting my logs documenting my hegira down there.

Watch out for it

Cheers!

Log No. 10 Friday the 13th

1999-08-16T20:29:00.000+08:00

Log number 10 : Friday the 13Th

Date : August 16
Log number 10 Subject : Friday the 13th
Time : 6:00 pm
Location : Crown printing Press, General Santos City

Dear All,

Greetings ! May the force be with you. You might wonder how come there is a note from me on a Monday.
Well, I accompanied a colleague down here in Gensan to get the first issue of Matutum Echoes, the school
paper. Good thing I was able to have the draft of Log 10 in Wordpad so it's easy for me to cut and
paste. Saves time too !

Last Friday, DAYSMCE (Dole Aspiring Young Scientists, Mathematicians and Computer
Enthusiasts), the Science Club I handle held a Meteor Shower Observation. It was supposed to be an
unlucky day, Friday the 13th but the outcome of the activity proved otherwise.

I would consider myself selectively superstitious. I believe the superstition if it is lucky for me. I
usually listen (blush) to Syzygy portion of Zenaida Seva in Alas Singko Y Medya before I go to school.
If her prediction for Sagitarrians for that day is favorable, I would look forward to it. But if her
prediction is not favorable, I would follow her statement at the end of her portion, "Hindi
kontrolado ng mga bituin ang ating buhay; itoy'nagsisilbing gabay lamang. Meron tayong free
will, gamitin natin ito"

I was a bit stressed for the first few days last week because it was my first time to organize an
event such as this for high school students. The entire upper school looked forward to this event. Some students
were disappointed because I only gave priority to DAYSMCE members. Many would have wanted
to join. But I was afraid I can't handle a very big group so I only accepted 57 students. I was
concerned too that the weather might not be favorable. I hate to see the weather dampening the
spirits of the kids.

It seemed as if the weather for Friday would be disastrous for the following reasons :
1) Friday the 13th is an unlucky day
2) The weather from Tuesday to Thursday was ominous,there was a heavy downpour every night
3) The ABS CBN news on Thursday night and Friday morning reported a low pressure area developing in
East of Mindanao expected to bring scattered rainshowers and thunderstorms
4) Senaida Seva of ASYM (blush again) told that day that it would be unlucky for Sagitarrians.

But then I told myself that if I had the guts to schedule the activity on a Friday the 13th, then any
prediction from the horoscope would be insignificant. Actually, the 13th was the best and
only possible day for the observation. (No class the day after and the peak of the meteor shower falling
on that day)

I've warned the students not to be excited too much as there are some things like the weather that are
beyond our control. I gave our Tawi-Tawi experience as an example (The total solar eclipse that was so
disappointing because the sky got cloudy during the event) Actually I had option B in case it was
cloudy. We will be watching sci-fi movies in the AVR. I told the students to pray that the weather
will be clear. I found myself praying the rosary the day before the activity; something I've never done
for a very long time.

The night sky on Friday was miraculously clear. God listened to our prayers. (What's more surprising was
that while it did not rain in Kalsangi, there was a heavy downpour below) I must admit, although this is my sixth year already
in meteor shower observations, the sight of dazzling meteors still never fail to excite me. But my
excitement could never match those of my kids. For some, it was their first time to see shooting stars.
From their screams of sheer delight and awe, I knew that this activity is something that they would
cherish.

The activity made me realize one of the reasons why I am immensely enjoying my job. Dealing with kids
gave me the rare privilege to feel young again. It's nice to experience once in a while that childlike
enthusiasm in all of us.

When I accepted this job I was only considering to stay here for a year. My next plan was supposedly
go to Australia. But something tells me a slight detour would do no harm. I don't know for how long
I'll be staying here but there is a big possibility it will be much longer than I originally planned.

One thing's definite though, when the time comes that I have to move on, I would surely have a hard
time letting go of this place.

The saga continues

Jodl

Log no. 9 Let there be ignite

1999-08-07T20:21:00.000+08:00

BackLog number 9: Let There be Ignite !

Date : August 007 1999
Log number 9
Subject : Let There Be Ignite !
Time : 12:00 pm
Location : Kimball Plaza, General Santos City

Dear All,

Hello everyone ! It's been a long time since I was able to contact you.
 I really had a hard time accessing my email ever since I was included
in the mailing list of my high school batch. If you noticed I'm using a
new email address for the time being while I'm still fixing my other
address.

I was bit busy for the past  three weeks in preparation for the First
Quarter Examination which we had last week.

A lot of things have happened since my last log. Last July 16 we held
one of the most awaited activity of the school, the July Footloose.
It's a dance contest and party for the Grade 7 and the High School
students.
I was chosen by the students to be the head judge (kahit wala naman
akong alam sa sayaw he he he)

I thought I had my share of performing in front of the crowd e.g
Quality Week, and Safety Week in Unilever. I was wrong. It is the
tradition of the school that new teachers perform a  special number
during the July Footloose. Good thing there were around 10 in the new
batch so at least it minimized the tension of dancing in front of eager
students. I don't know, maybe it's different kind of excitement for
students to see their teachers join them in the fun.

I still haven't started my dream garden arrrgh. Daria knows how to
fetch sticks but the problem is that she doesn't give back the stick to
me. I had to wrestle her to get the stick from her mouth so we could
start the game again.

Two weeks ago, we (four of my colleagues and I) went to North Cotabato
to visit a convent and a museum. I brought back a Japanese Spitz puppy.
 I think he and Daria would make a lovely couple. I gave him the name
Ignite. My students always ask me, why Ignite ? I'd like to keep the
story behind the name a mystery. But if you want a clue, it has
something to do with my hero, McGyver.

That's all for now. Bye.


Jodl

Log No. 8 DAYS of our lives

1999-07-03T20:24:00.000+08:00

To : Area 2, KNL, Astro, Unilever, UPAAK,Wanbol
Subject : DAYS of our lives
Date : July 3, 1999
Time : 12:15 pm
Location : Kimball Plaza, General Santos City


Dear All,

Hello everyone ! How are you ? Probably by now you have already
watched "The Phantom Menace" for the nth time.  Showing right now in
GenSan cinemas are Entrapment and The Matrix. Quite pathetic huh ?
I'll be watching 'The Matrix' after this. Finally, I'll get to know
what the matrix really is.

Things are really looking good. Teaching is much harder than I
thought. Whoever said that the teacher needs to study more than the
students was not joking. Much time is allotted for the preparation
rather than the actual teaching stuff. Of course you want to make the
best out of every lecture. But I could say that after trying the
corporate world, the load is really manageable. Eight hours a day is
more than enough.

Last Saturday, was some sort of a club shopping day. Each moderator
or club adviser was given the chance to talk about the clubs he
handles. I am handling the science club, DAYS, (Dole Aspiring Young
Scientists).  I could say my presentation was dramatic. I brought two
yellow solutions in front. When mixed they form a bloody red
solution. (Sodium Thiocyanate and Ferric Nitrate, form a bloody red
complex when mixed, if you still remember your high school chemistry
). I used to fool my classmates in College Chemistry with a broken
beaker and this solution on my hands. It appeared as if I wounded my
hands badly.

The demo was effective for half of those legible to join the club
(Grade 7 to IV year)  signed up (around 50).

One of the activities that we plan to do is the meteor shower
observation on August 13. There will also be some sort of a nature
trek.

Daria, our dog, has gained considerable weight since we got her. We
have already trained her to make u-u and wi-wi outside. She never
seems to run out of energy. Every afternoon, after classes I bring
her to the football field for her exercise. Last night I taught her
to play "fetch".  I say in a week's time, she'll be quite good at it.

The Friday before last, we held the "Back to School" night. It is an
early evening activity attended by the parents of the students. It is
when the class advisers present the course outlines to them. It is
also the venue for parents to ask questions regarding the class
policies of the teachers. Several parents approached me to inform
that their kids are enjoying my subject. There was a mother of two
brilliant students who informed me how her sons are so proud of me.
Ain't that cool ! I  have never felt so fulfilled in my life.

Two weeks ago, a Grade 7 student asked me why I gave up a career in
chemicals and came down to South Cotabato to teach. The innocent
question took me by surprise. I told the class, that they were yet
too young to understand. I was quite touched though when the student
added, "Whatever your reason was,  sir, we are glad you came down
here".

Frankly speaking , I began to realize that I really never fully
understood the reason why I came down here. Something tells me there
is something more.

I hope to find what that something is.

The saga continues..


Jodl

Log No. 007 Unleash the Energy

1999-06-13T20:15:00.000+08:00

Log no. 7
To : Wanbol University
Subject : Unleash the Energy !
Date : June 13 1999
Location : Kimball Plaza, Gen San City


Dear All,

Time flies when you are having fun ! I just realized yesterday that I have
already spent a month here. Classess started last week. Things are really
looking great. Teaching definitely gives me a differnent kind of satisfaction.
My students are really promising.

My grade 7 students are adorable. They really are like sponges. I
could see the
enthusiasm in them whenever I discuss new concepts. Somehow I see the little
boy in me when I teach Science 7.

My third and fourth year students are brilliant. It is inspiring to
be reminded
that we once passed through that idealistic stage. But I am quite anxious  for
these kids for they are so vulnerable.

College life would be the time when their beliefs are challenged by the harsh
realities of life. What's tragic is that most people easily give up and become
bitter. Oh well we must learn to accept that the world is no longer a romantic
place. But as quoted in Ally McBeal...There are still romantic people and
therein lies the promise.

First impressions last. What happens next is up to you. With this Axe tag line
in mind I told my students on the first day of class, that their science
teacher help prepared the Axe Energy formulation for the Philippines. Somehow
that made them real proud to have me as their teacher. Suffice to say that I
won't be surprised if whenever they pass by the body spray section of the
supermarket they will hold their heads up high.

I told my students that this time my mission is to bring out the best in them
and so my battlecry still holds.... Unleash the Energy !

It is rather ironic. When I was in the corporate, I rarely wear long sleeves
and tie. (I only get to wear these when we have visitors). But here, the male
teachers wear this attire from Mondays to Thursdays. On Fridays, the teachers
and the students get to dress casually. We call this day, Self Expression day.

There is a macadamia tree beside our cottage. The guidance counselor picks
around 4 nuts each day. He has collected around a hundred already. In
December,
we will be dividing the nuts among the four of us.

Yesterday we welcomed a new member to our cottage. She is a bitch ( that means
a female dog). Yup finally my prayers were answered ! Initially, my cottage
mates were not really excited  with the idea of having a canine around. But
having lots of leftovers convinced them otherwise. After having three dogs
named Poppie (I think the name is a jinx since all of these dogs died) I named
my new pet "Daria" from the MTV character

I still haven't started my dream garden. But with Daria around it might take a
while. Woff ! Woff !

More of the saga next time.....

Stay cool !

Jodl

Log No. 6 : Tales from the Dark Side

1999-05-29T21:26:00.000+08:00

Log Number 6 Subject : Tales from Dark Side To : Area 2,Astro, Dipes, Engg, KNL,Unilever, UPAAK, Wanbol Date : May 29 1999 Location : Davao City Time : 10: 57 am Dear All, Hello once again dudes and dudettes. As I say in Physics, may the "work over distance" be with you. (fyi, in Physics, work equals force times distance) I envy you guys. Episode I will be shown in Manila on June 30. Ako I'll have to wait for months bago dumating ang movie sa Gensan. To give you an idea how delayed the movies here are... kapapalabas lang last week ng Scorpio Nights 2. Oh well maybe pag showing sa Davao, sasadyain ko na lang dito. I'm in Davao right now. Teachers' outing. Kahapon we went to see the Philippine Eagles. Hataw sila ! So majestic ! We are supposed to go back to Dole today but I opted na maiwan muna. I'm going to Tagum later to meet a friend. Don't have any idea where it is but I'm sure to find my way there. Davao is no nice. Kasi mura lang ang Internet. 35 Pesos lang per hour !!!! Ain't that cool ? Classes will start pa on the 7th. Still one week to go. Can't wait to meet my students. For every "supernatural" phenomenon there is supposed to be a scientific explanation behind it. Two weeks ago, the PE teacher who's on the other cottage moved in to our house. He's been hearing footsteps daw at night in his room. Yung mga kasama niyang dalawa sa bahay (on their second year at Dole) opted to stay there. Sanay na raw sila roon. We convinced ourselves that the creaking sound of wood he hears is brought about by the extreme change in temperature. (The opposite of thermal expansion perhaps, or maybe the moisture absorbed by the wood condenses, whatever) It's really freezing cold at night here kasi nga nasa foot na kami ng mountain.(And it's a not "-ber" month yet.) Last week, it was my turn to hear these eerie sounds. Even though I would convince myself na it has something to do with the drop in temperature the sound is really "nakakatayo ng balahibo". So from then on every night I sleep with the light turned on. I also turn the CD player on to drown the eerie sound with new wave music. Maybe after this stint maging PhD na ako sa New Wave. The only time I turn off the light at night is when I miss the luminuos stars I've stuck on the walls. I only turn off the light for only a minute. It's not only the wood that is affected by the change in temperature. I got sick last week because my system had a hard time coping up with the drastic change in temperature. It's tolerably hot during the day but at night brrrr...Pero oks na ako. I had to increase though my intake of Vitamin C. I still have to take a bus to Tagum. See you later guys. Jodl

Log No. 5: Dole Sweet Naturally

1999-05-15T16:44:00.000+08:00

Log no. 5 Date : May 15, 1999 Time : 1:44 PM Location : Kimball Plaza, General Santos City To : Area 2 ladies, Astro, DIPE, Engg, Krus na Leaguers, PP Devt, Unilever, UPAAK, Wanbol Dear All, Hello dudes and dudettes, mga pareey, mga mare, mga chokaran, paneros y paneras, mga brothers and sisters in pursuit of excellence, fellow karatekas, friends and countrymen. May the "work over distance" be with you. Thanks for all your emails, text messages at kung anu-ano pa. It's a relief to know that Gensan already has an internet cafe. Otherwise I would be forced to go to Davao to check my emails regularly. It's my first week in Dole Philippines School and things are really looking great. School has not started yet but we are busy preparing for the curriculum and other school activities for the coming school year. I'm sharing a 3-bedroom bungalow with two other colleagues. Like me, this is their first time to be assigned in this remote area. One's a guidance counselor and the other's a history and literature teacher.Both are in their late twenties. What a surprise, holy as I am ( depende kung gaano niyo ako kakilala, he he he ) compared to them, ang haba ng sungay ko ! Kulang na lang e manggaling, sila sa seminaryo ( FF scale : level 0). They don't smoke. They don't drink. (But they don't mind me storing Blue Ice in the ref) And they know how to cook . But the best part is... they don't listen to NU 107 with volume so unholy your ear drums would shatter. Both had published a number of books already. They've agreed to give me some tips so I could come up with my own book. So mukhang unti-unti nang matutupad ang pangarap ko. The garden around the house is really pregnant with possibilities. I've been aching to check if I still have a green thumb.I will be handling 3 science classes ( Science 7, Chemistry and Physics) and a Statistics class. I shall also be the laboratory process owner and the science club adviser. The school population is small (around 20-25 students per batch !!). The laboratory has a spectacular view of Mt. Matutum. It has a smell though of a typical chemical laboratory. I've learned to value the importance of documentation. The teacher before me never left any "pamana" regarding his curriculum so I'm trying to set up my own. I'm using the school book as guide but I'm inputting my own ideas as well. It's really a challenge because it's like setting up a system. And the best part is the school administration is like a sponge, welcoming all my ideas. (Your inputs might come in handy later on). It's a bit chilly at night because the school is located at the foot of Mt. Matutum. The place is really ideal for soul-searching. I wish some of you could drop by so you could appreciate the beauty of the place. To get there, you'll have to pass by 50 man-made humps (these were created to avoid flash floods in the plantation). The ride is exciting. It would remind you of Jungle Log Jam of EK. It's only during the weekends when we get down the mountain to get in touch with the rest of the world. I should say I'm having the best of both worlds. More of the saga next time.... Jodl