The Journey...part 1

Life is a journey. Indeed it has been. And it still is.

And it goes for everyone. For every human is a traveler, a nomad in search for his own answers.

And though I am no longer a big fan of life- for life has its own flaws and peculiarities- I embrace the journey that has been.

The years are slipping by. My memory starts to fade. I used to bask in the enormous power of youth, revel in its beauty. But now the inevitable has come.

And as I approach the twilight of my youth let me share my own piece, stake my own claim.

Of all the journeys I have traveled, one stood out among the rest.

One that struck a chord in my heart.

One that I chose to hold on, with such steadfastness as if my whole being resides on it.

Ten years ago, it all seemed like it was yesterday, I embraced the unknown and embarked on a journey hoping to find some answers on life’s elusive questions.

A movie once said that a woman’s heart is an ocean of secrets.

A man’s heart is no different.

Despite the calmness of its surface, the currents of emotions are raging, well hidden in the abyss.

To unearth the hidden, one must have the patience and the will to go down deep through the darkest cracks and crevices.

Beneath every smile is a story of pain. And behind every sorrow is a promise of redemption.

Writing this now, ten years after, is a journey on its own.

It a journey within.

And a journey back home.

The time has come…

I am not an Eheads fan... Really

Tonight as I write this, hordes of fans from the metropolis or probably all over the country, are heading to MOA to witness a closure of a much sought-after reunion. If you are one of the fans (which I suspect you are) I am sure you know what I’m talking about… the Eraserheads.

It had nearly been a decade that die hard folks have clamored for the reunion concert which became a reality sometime in August, albeit anticlimactic with the collapse of the lead vocalist.

But tonight, fate it seemed, conspired to finally give what many thought was impossible.

That I chose to stay at home to listen to their mp3’s in my laptop instead of chanting and head-banging with a delirious crowd under a moonlit sky would probably make my close friends wonder.

After all, I am a huge Eheads fan capable of reciting the lyrics of all their songs from their early albums : Ultracelectromagnetic pop to Sticker Happy.

I can still recall the time I passed by SC and saw the promotional poster for Circus. I even offered a silent prayer that they would make it. I recall the time I discussed with Aleah and Francis the songs in Cutterpillow album or the time Denise, Ting and I went to Anonas to watch the Eheads gig (and couldn’t believe my eyes that Ely was performing less than 3 meters away from us!). I recall how my Jeoppard barkada would play their sounds on our weather-beaten cassette atop our treehouse.

I know the concert would be a trip down memory lane but my enthusiasm is tempered by my fear that the crowd would be unmanageable and unruly, not to mention the inconvenience of the traffic and the long queues. I am hoping to live vicariously once the video is eventually uploaded on Youtube.

But maybe (and it’s still something I debate with myself) I have learned to embrace early on about their break up.

It was inevitable, admittedly disheartening that it was bitter, but let’s face it .. the tunes they were belting out after Sticker Happy were horrible.

I have learned that while Eheads played the music of my life, that they have articulated the angst of my generation…( Huwag mo nang Itanong: Field trip sa may pagawaan ng lapis ay katulad ng buhay natin……Spolarium : Pwede bang itigil muna ang pag-ikot ng mundo….Alapaap: Ang daming bawal sa mundo.. sinasakal nila tayo) , there comes a point where you just have to accept the inevitable and move on.. I guess it’s part of growing up.

Haven’t the Eheads captured that thought impeccably? Kalayaan: Tayo ay nilimot ng kahapon. Di na mapipilitang buhayin ang ating pinagsamahan…

But then again..

Ngunit kung sakaling mapadaan baka ikaw ay aking tawagan… dahil minsan tayo ay naging tunay na magkaibigan

Maybe that’s the reason why these clueless folks are converging if only to have a brief glimpse of the past.

And maybe that’s also the reason why though I have convinced myself that I have moved on, I will still play their music tonight on my laptop.