First Time

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

A few Fridays ago, I did something for the first time with my 3 lady friends. And what a first time it was! Menage-a-quatre makeover.

What started as a tame game of trumps with Jen, Shane and Cecille ended up with a ludicrous wager. It was all seemingly innocuous at first

If I win, I get to have a free dinner at my place of choice.

If I lose, they get to mess up with my hair and my entire outfit.

Definitely a no-brainer. Sure I’ve got something to lose, but my guts were saying it was going to be an easy win.

How was I to know the outcome would be the opposite? To make the story short, I lost and the girls were pleased to give the punishment.

I could have taken the easy way out, kneel down, cry like a baby and ask for a different penalty. But ego can be a bad thing so like a true gentleman, I had to stick to the agreement (despite the apprehension and almost wetting my pants).

So come next Friday night, I became the unwitting star –nah more like the hapless victim- of my eager friends. (Eager is probably tame, they were more like drooling like a pack of velociraptors before the kill). I somehow suspect they are dying to stage their own version of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Being a staunch advocate of science I knew the value of experimentation, but it didn’t assuage my fear knowing I was the guinea pig in their makeover experiment.

A P400 haircut, 2 grams of Hair Clay, 3 trips to the fitting room, gazillion deafening heartbeats and tons of perspiration later I became their finished work of art. I must admit from the before and after shots the transformation was well…uh…noticeable.

I was initially hesitant with the new me, but judging from the reactions of my officemates, classmates, and friends, number of profile views, and some proposals bordering on indecency, I could say I now have high regard for women’s intuition and taste.

Losing a bet actually never felt this great!

Hey Jen, Cess, Shane anytime you want to makeover my unit, dinner’s on me. Hehehe. Cheers!

Mnemonic Possession

Hear ye. Hear ye. You folks out there, remember the name … Jodl Gayatin. I shall forever be known in the field of astronomy.

Celestial navigators shall refer to me in their lifelong quest.

Star struck poets (not the Dream Believe Survive kind of crap) shall have mouthful froth upon hearing my name.

Amateur astronomers shall glorify me in astronomy books for generations and generations to come.

Aren’t you glad you have known me in your lifetime? Better ask for my autograph now while I’m still reachable.

Ok lower down those eyebrows. (You too Ria T.!) What amazing feat, you ask, have I done to earn such prestige?

Have I discovered a heretofore-unknown planet? Nope discoveries of heavenly bodies ain’t my cup of tea.

Have I proven the presence of a black hole in nearby regions of the solar system? Not quite…although I once did suspect its existence somewhere between the ears of a former boss.

Have I derived the great equation for the Theory of Everything thereby unifying the four forces of the universe? The much-sought equation that has eluded Einstein. That one single beeeeautiful equation that holds true in the beginning and at the end of time. The Holy Grail of Physics. An awesome far-reaching formula that encompasses Newton’s Laws, Relativity and Quantum Mechanics. A mathematical derivation, Ockham’s-razor in its simplicity yet brilliantly elegant; eternal and enduring be it at the heart of Big Bang or at the fringes of the Event Horizon. (okay if you’ve reached this part without having brain hemorrhage, nay on the contrary even groaning in ecstasy…. my advice…you’re spending too much in the theoretical subatomic world - grab a beer and get a life !) (how dare this schmuck tell me to fix my life when he spends his free time croaking sappy songs and scribbling senseless blog stuff)

No folks… None of the above.

I, a few years and heartaches back, once came up with a mnemonic device. ( Mnemonic devices– you know stuff like “Every Good Boy Does Fine” in Music or the “Bad Boys Rape Our Young Girls But Violy Gave in Willingly.. in Electrical Engg)

I was a college student then who joined the great UP Astronomical Society for a profoundly compelling reason - my ravishing classmate was also applying. Oh the ironies of life, she never finished the application and I eventually got stuck with a bunch of stiff-necked, bespectacled, geeky folks (who are nonetheless adorable, cute and exciting – I know you guys are going to read this, so there!)

Anyway, Astronomy 101 – the zodiacal constellations in sequence are ARIES, TAURUS, GEMINI, CANCER, LEO, VIRGO, LIBRA, SCORPIO, SAGITTARIUS, CAPRICORN, AQUARIUS and PISCES. (By the way, ASTRONOMY is different from ASTROLOGY, the former is science the latter is a pseudo science bullsh*t) It’s kinda hard memorizing the sequence so I came up with a Mnemonic Device. One that is simple and star-studded…

“According To Gabby Concepcion Laging Very Loving Si Sharon Cuneta After Performance.”

Lo and behold. Several years and star gazing sessions after, amateur astronomers are using my mnemonic device. Yeba! Talk about legacy. (ok you should realize by the now the feat is really nothing stupendous, but since this is my blog allow me to feel deluded a bit )

(Here's the link. Please read the footnote)
http://home.astronomy.com.ph/?id=/200601/columns/editorial

Actually the Mnemonic device might not have its enduring quality. The young ones would no longer recognize who the hell Gabby Concepcion is.

Ancient Showbiz 101 for the young ones and the feeling young ones with feigned amnesia. Gabs and Shawie were the Juday and Piolo, or Bea and Lloyd or Uma and Sam (hehe peace Uma fans) of the 80’s.

Gabby Concepcion became my father-in-law (at least in my own parallel universe) when a lovely lady emerged like an Immaculate Venus from a pool of water (or was that a pool of pH care? – I couldn’t bear to associate KC soaked and cleansed in a pool of feminine wash…. you do the analogy)

At any rate folks, do remember the mnemonic device. It might come in handy especially if you know where to spot the constellations. Knowing the names and their locations would definitely give gazillion pogi points during a stroll under the night sky with your hot date. Just don’t lose your cool like I did last time

Gorgeous gal : ( after being told the names of the stars she’d been pointing) Wow, Jodl

you know your stars pretty well (with twinkling eyes)

Me: Yeah… Actually You know what ? You remind me of the stars..

GG: Really and why is that?…(purring)

Me: Er…. Well …Uhm… ( Darn, notice how you forget the lines you’ve memorized a thousand times during that crucial moment)

GG: Y--es? (eyes twinkling more rapidly this time)

Me: Er…You’re like a star, coz.. er…..um…you’re a heavenly body, light years away , flaming like one big ball of hot gases… (Arrgh , it was not supposed to go like that..)

GG: (after a moment of stunned disbelief) Moron !

Happy stargazing !

Valentine Aftershock

Time to get sappy, mawkish, senti…

Hey I have an excuse, it’s still the week of Valentine’s.

Actually I hate Valentine’s. It is just an elaborate ploy by the bloody capitalists to make fools of the clueless XY-chromosomed species. We’re pressured to buy flowers and gifts as proof of our affection.

And where’s the justice there? Only a handful dine over a candlelight, watch a concert, stroll on a starry night while the rest (i.e the singles, heartbrokens and unclaimed gifts) are forced to stay at home, watch horror movies and eat blueberry cheesecake to assuage their loneliness. (ok ok sour graping lang po ng isang SMV 06 member)

But cynical, I am not. In fact in the spirit of Valentine’s let me share some snippets of lyrics playing in my CD player these past few weeks. Fancy what a 120mm disk can do – it can cool the hottest of heads during the grueling rush hour traffic in C5.

Notice how some lines of a song flash vignettes of your so-called life? So handy for folks like me who are morons when it comes to articulating this creepy thing called love. Now all I have to do is lift those lines.

(I know, I need to update my song list already – they ‘re very ancient- but I find the current songs playing on the airwaves lacking the oomph. Either that or I am tuned to the wrong stations)

Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking for by U2

I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you
I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I Don’t Want To Wait by Dido

I don't want to to wait for our lives to be over,
I want to know right now what will it be
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
Will it be yes or will it be...sorry?

Dreaming by Selena

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up late and think of you and I wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

'Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

Hello by Lionel Richie

Hello, is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying ... I love you

Superman by Five For Fighting

It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Missing You by John Waite

In your world
I have no meaning
Though I'm trying hard
to understand
And it's my heart that's breaking
Down this long distance line tonight
I ain't missing you at all
Since you've been gone
Away
I ain't missing you
No matter
What my friends say

King of Wishful Thinking by Go West

I refuse to give in to my blues
That's not how it's going to be
And I deny the tears in my eyes
I don't want to let you see.. no
That you have made a hole in my heart
And now I've got to fool myself..

I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking..

(Special thanks to Jen A. for the Sunset photo. Hanep ah 3 Jens have been actively part of this blog. Jen S. the florist, Jen M. the lawyer and Jen A. the sunset-chaser. Mabuhay kayong lahat! Happy V !)

Time Capsule - This One's For You Mac

Time Capsule – This One’s for you Mac

It’s Feb 14 and I suppose as expected by some, this entry would tackle one of the most profound mysteries of the world -love. But I am not really a big fan of Valentines Day. The world – well at least the so-called civilized part anyway- has a way of ruining the best days of the year through commercialization. Gone are the days when a simple picnic by the brook would suffice to celebrate life, love, existence, togetherness, possibilities. In a world that has slowly gone aberrant one’s depth of commitment is now associated by the number of carats of the ring or the $ value of the gift. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned love?

But hey before I proceed with my litany, this log is way off the big V.

It is about an event that happened on Valentine’s day a few years back.

Thw year was 2001. We buried a time capsule on a Valentine’s Day. In Dole Philippines School, where I taught science for 2 years, Valentine’s Day coincides with Teacher’s Appreciation Day. At that time I organized a time capsule burial activity with my freshman advisory class. I was all set to go back to the Corporate world and wouldn’t be able to see my kids go through high school. But I made a pact with them that in 3 years time (on their senior year) I would go back on that same date to dig up the treasure together.

Time capsule burial is something that has always fascinated me. In the absence of a time machine, it is a way of connecting the past and the future. There is that inevitable challenge of fulfilling a promise to unearth the treasure. It is about a commitment that no matter what, your future self will have to make the journey full circle.

My fascination harks back to the “Blood Brothers” episode of MacGyver, which I first saw on my second year in high school.

For a young naïve, promdi kid studying in Philippine Science High, hundreds of miles away from the family, it meant dealing all alone with the culture shock, homesickness, bullies, and adolescence angst. I had literally no one to turn to. (Picture yourself in your high school years, dealing with all these stuff, all alone. That was how tough it was) And so it probably made sense that my father figure during those tumultuous years was a fictional character by the name of MacGyver.

Such probably was his impact that the first course I took in college was Applied Physics, Mac’s Field of Expertise. When I shifted to Chemical Engineering I even used Mac’s byline as rationalization- exploring other fields. (This he mentioned to his professor in the episode “Hell Week”, one of the best episodes) On hindsight, I did seem to have inherited MacGyver’s curse with the ladies as well – occasionally linked but emotionally inaccessible.

Anyway, this “Blood Brothers” episode was perhaps the best in the series. It was in this episode that viewers went back in time to discover the root cause of the central “flaw” in Mac’s character- his strong distaste for guns.

This was also the episode where Mac had a taste of the sublime and came back to fulfill a pact he made as a kid – to unearth the time capsule he buried with his buddies.

Of course MacGyver at first had a hard time convincing his buddies. Somehow his friends have “matured” already and never saw the beauty of fulfilling the promise.

*****

Fast forward to the year 2004. I was already based in Manila as an EHS Engineer. It had been three years since I left the academe. But I did recall the pact I had with my students. It was a pact that I had to keep no matter what the odds were.

And so on Valentines day of 2004 exactly 3 years after, after wrestling with my boss to grant me a leave, canceling a blind date, and draining my savings for the plane fare (I had to cut down on my gimmick expenses just to set aside the amount) I went back to Mindanao to fulfill the promise.

It seemed pretty stupid to go through all the trouble just to dig up what arguably was a worthless piece of junk. But as I looked at the treasure we unearthed, I felt an inner sense of joy, peace and fulfillment. I had a connection with my old idealistic self. It was like going back in time.

What I did was probably foolish and impractical. But for me it had been a life statement.

It was my way of expressing that I haven’t succumbed to the banalities of life.

It was a message to my kids that promises are meant to be kept.

More importantly, it was also my way of saying - Hey Mac, Thanks. This one’s for you.

She Who Must Not Be Named

I was all set to give my new baby a name. Suffice to say it was just short of having a baptismal party, with ninongs and ninangs in tow and the works.

After all, the hardest part – determining the most suitable name to call my new car- was over.

Technically the car isn’t mine, it belongs to the company. But so long as I humbly submit myself to the beck and call of the almighty company, to work and to slave, for better or for worse, in paid sick leaves and in health, till resignation/ retrenchment do us part, I shall be enjoying the car benefit.

And since I will be stuck with the car for the next five years, I thought of giving her a name to personalize the ..uh.. partnership.

Arriving at THE NAME has not been an easy task. For one, there is that looming benchmark; it has to be a name at par with her predecessor…the exotically and seductively sounding Tanya..

It didn’t help that after posting the Tanya entry I have received numerous messages from inquisitive friends asking who my next car will be. Talk about pressure. .

So name-shopping I did…

Initially, I considered some Spanish names – Maria, Corazon, Socorro, Rosario, Dolor, Amparo. Just listening to the series makes you sigh and utter gibberishly …Madre mia, que bonita”; “Tiene una cara perfecta pero es si inteligente?, Mama Cita donde esta Santa Claus?”.. But before I get flipped out by the romance of the language, I had to remind myself that these names are now attributed to women of the bygone era . Ah que lastima !

The name, I decided, has to be more 21st century. It should evoke mystery. Undoubtedly feminine with finesse and spunk. It should be enduring. Pleasant to the ear even after a couple of years and thousands of mileage.

Tiffany, Stephanie, Katrina, Olivia, Kristina, Melissa – Such gorgeous names. Unfortunately I had to scrap them out from the list because I have folks in my network with these names. Lest I earn their ire, I took the safer route. Hell hath no fury than a lady friend named after a lifeless metallic junk.

Moving on with the list

Amanda – hmmm I picture Griffin and Page here. I haven’t known anyone named Amanda who’s not pretty… a good name… a possibility…

Asia - too slutty, no thanks.

Cindy – a winner… but could be associated with Cindy Kato and Patay Cindy… sorry Ms. Kurleto, this one’s out…

Anjanette – close your eyes… what comes to your mind?.... nice name right?...

Britney – taken na po (hikbi)….. .definitely out…. (Trivia- Britney and I have the same birth date, kewl- ok so you’ve got something in common, so what?)

Bianca – ah… a name fit for senoritas and herederas, fair-skinned damsels who’d faint at a pin prick, another one of those “Tiene una cara perfecta” kind of name.. Marvelous (sigh) …but way up there on the pedestal…unreachable.

Hermione – Cute name. Cute character. You gotta admit the way she says “Wingardium Levi-yoooo-sa” is kinda haughty, smart and sexy. She could Avada Kedavra me anytime… But cradle snatcher I am not ….next please…

Winona – hmmm fancy, I did consider this. I picture Ms Ryder in Coppolla’s “Dracula” before her klepto bout. Her name though, is used so often in gay lingo, its glamour has been reduced to the level of chaka, chuvalu, and cheness so I guess this one is definitely chugi .

Jolens, Jopay and Juday – If it starts with a J, It’s kinda okay (hey that rhymes !!)….but nah…too Jologs.

Keanna, Kuhdet, Krungkrung, – What’s with K man? I’d rather walk half-naked from Antipolo to Bicutan, in the heat of the midday sun than name my car after them..

And then it hit me…I saw a big sign in a construction site with THE NAME to be… Yep That’s it. ! Why not? Cute name… very feminine. .. Not too classy. Not too jologs either. The recall is great. Two syllables, 007 letters, and starts with a P. Can be both scientific and poetic. Ah perfect… The search is over…

But life is full of ironies.. On the night, I planned to reveal the name, my friend Jenny offered an urban legend. It sounded more like a curse. (Hi Jen, sorry for the delay, I know you looked forward to this entry.) (By the way, folks out there, if you’re planning to buy Flowers for Valentine’s or for wedding, please order from Ka-Blooms, owned and managed by my lovely friend Jen. Grabe shameless plugging ito hehehe)

Now where was I? Oh yeah, the curse… According to the curse, guys who name their cars don’t end up in a meaningful relationship.

Hhhhuwhaaaat???? My incredulity exactly. (It was not just an ordinary what. It was more surreal, like the Dove commercial “No, she’s not my daughter, she’s my granddaughter” incredulous kind of what)

Hey I might have the name ready and all but…..I just didn’t want to taunt fate.

Am not superstitious… (Yeah right ).

You must understand my situation I had no choice…(Ok we hear you)

So reluctantly I have finally decided to call the car “She Who Must Not Be Named”.

Darn !

(In case you’re wondering what the name would have been, you’re invited to guess. Hanep ah, naging interactive na itong blog. First one to guess it correctly gets 2 orders of kinilaw and 6 bottles of San Mig light in Riverbanks or a dinner at Seven Suites at Antipolo. Cheers!)

(Special thanks to Atty Mildred for the photo used in this entry. Great shot! Keep shooting!)